An Untold Secret

Chapter 18

    Driving back to Nahbi is only thirty minutes, but it feels like eternity. Mr. Caldwell (I'm not ready to call him father, yet) and I haven't said much, but that's okay with me. I've been sitting here staring out the window for a while. I block him out, and watch out my window as the trees fly by. I block him out and if I close my eyes and let the sun rest on my face, it becomes peaceful. I can pretend it's just me, touring the world with my art. With my hand out the window, feeling the wind and a smile on my face. Then, I open my eyes and reality kicks me in the gut.

   I'll have to get used to it, though. I said I would give him a chance, and I will. It might help me in the future, too. Being able to go to an art college. The words just sound amazing, but actually going is a whole other level of feeling.

   Mr. Caldwell did get a hotel room for me last night. To my surprise, it wasn't that fancy. I think he did it for me, so I wouldn't feel weird and out of place. Although, the shower did have five different shower heads. Which was pretty scary when I first turned the water on. I had thought I was being shot at. The beds were like sleeping on a cloud, but sleep wasn't really my friend last night. My mind was everywhere with questions and trying to imagine what it will be like with my new life. I would be lying if I said I wasn't scared. 

   This morning, room service came to my door with breakfast. The lady had said someone ordered parfait for me. I asked her why someone ordered a bath scrubby for me. She chuckled and nodded slowly. Then, she preceded to tell me what a parfait actually was. I've never tasted something so delicious. 

   "Where in Nahbi, Rebecca." His voice was soft but cautious. Like if he said the wrong thing, or had the wrong tone, I would run off and not look back. I peek open my eyes and sit up straight. I look around to see the familiar buildings of the town I had become to love. "Where are we going first?" Mr. Caldwell's gentle voice asks.

    I tell him which turns to make until we a parked beside of the forest. I knew exactly where to go, but for safe measures, I had hung rope high up on one of the branches. A narrow path was starting to form, but you wouldn't see it if you weren't looking for it. I step out of the vehicle and grab the flowers in the back seat. I look up to see Mr. Caldwell exiting the vehicle as well.

   "Wait," I call out. He turns he is head and scrunches his eyebrows. "I want, no, need to do this alone. Just stay in the car. I won't be gone long, I promise."

   Hurt flashes through his eyes, but it's gone in a second. He nods and slowly gets back in the car. He probably wants to see where my mother is, but I won't let him. At least when I'm saying goodbye. He may have tried to be apart of our family, but he wasn't. He wasn't there all those years when she was. So, he can't come along, or at least, not yet.

   I trudge down my path. I step over thorns and dodge poison ivy. Ducking below a few branches I spot the tree ahead. It was big, and invisible to any eyes back on the road. Perfect for a mother who had a big heart. A tear escapes, but I quickly wipe it away. I know she would tell me that I've cried enough tears for her, but I can't help it.

   Coming up to the tree I sit down. I face the carved plank of wood in front of me. It had my mother's name her birth and death date. Below it all I had written 'I love you, from the daughter who loved you most.' It took me a while to carve everything. I had to take breaks because my vision kept getting fuzzy with tears. Sure enough, though, I completed it in time to put it here when I buried her ashes. I had buried part of it, so it would stay and not blow away with the wind.

   Taking the flowers I lean them against a root, next to her makeshift grave. I retrieve a small rope from my pocket and tie it around the tree. My heart breaks as I think of leaving to go live with my father. I chuckle, even thinking about it sounds strange, foreign even. I'll be back. That I'm sure of.