Amaranthine ✿ | Ryden

The theory of nothing

So may references to The Rising(or you know the Greek book I have called Άνοδος ahem ahem) I want to cry. Anywhore, I'm happy with how that ended. I hope you are as well. Don't forget to go check the 'the theory of everything' again before reading this because it has many call backs to it.

After finishing this book, you can choose to a)learn more about this universe by reading The Rising b)check out my other books for Ryden action like Cool Kids, Writers of sins, Cape Town, Tumblr Otp Prompts and Mission Valentine c)do all of them because you love meee

"It's definitely not a band."

"Look, one man bands are a thing."

"But it's weird."

"Don't judge me, Jonathan."

"Don't irritate him, Jon."Spencer said in between laughter"He might kick you out of the band!"

"This is bullying." Brendon tried to reply in all seriousness but he couldn't hold back his laughter either. This wasn't how he had expected things to turn out. He thought they would bomb him with questions but both Jon and Spencer seemed to just make the best of the situation. It made him wonder whether the break up came as a surprise to them.

Maybe they were already thinking of it as a possible scenario.

"Why did I leave?"

Ah but that was what seemed odd to Brendon. The fact that there were four people in this room but only three had spoken since he explained Panic!'s story.

"Artistic differences."

"Bullshit."Ryan replied"We don't have artistic differences, this isn't us. Plus, even if we had an argument about it we wouldn't break up. I wouldn't give up that easily on us, on what we have here."

Ryan uses first person on purpose and Brendon knows it. He doesn't say 'you would give up easily but I wouldn't' but it's there, it's implied. Ryan wants to know if he did anything to save the band, a band that was his dream, and he doesn't want to believe that he let it die that easily. He doesn't mean to make Brendon the villain of the story-at least this version of Ryan has no reason to blame Brendon-but he does because he seeks redemption. He seeks a clear consequence.

"I didn't give up on our band."Brendon tells him"Isn't it obvious?"

"I wouldn't either. So maybe I didn't give up on our band."Ryan says as Spencer and Jon look at the two other boys"Maybe I gave up on something else."

Again, he picks his words carefully. Carefully because he's asking for something specific and Brendon knows very damn well what it is. He could be straight with him, ask him exactly what answers he's looking for but he doesn't. He doesn't because Spencer doesn't know and Jon doesn't know and he isn't even sure if Brendon knows.

"I gave up on it."Brendon tells him and Ryan isn't sure if this was the answer he was looking for."I was tired."

"Of me?"

"Of this."his voice was sharp now as if a heavy burden was finally ready to come out"Of this hide and seek, of who you were out there and with me, of my own damn self. I wanted to stop playing."

"This is straight out of a fan-fiction."Jon whispered to Spencer.

"More like gay out of a fan-fiction."

"If that was what you wanted, I would have--"

"Given up? Because that's what you did. That's what started it all."then the 'we're still friends' pact was ruined and everything followed."The worst thing is that you tried to hide it from everyone and they already knew."