Will I ever be perfect? A boku no hero academia fanfiction

Chapter 1

The moment Todoroki realised his feelings he turned pale. He was always pale but now he turned next level. Like Snow White. And to make this even better it was in the middle of their English class. Which feelings you might ask? will the lingering feelings of having a crush on one of his fellow classmates and not to forget one of his very few friends Midoriya Izuku. He couldn't even remember when it really started. Ever sinds the first day at school he seemed to have some sort of intresseds in the green haired guy and after the tournament it grew but not to the extent which he is in now. It was strange. To start, he always had been told by his mother and the stories she would read him that a guy always fell in love with a beautiful girl which would mean the world to him. That he would sometime in the future find the love of his life, some very beautiful smart girl that would love him just as much in return. Of course his father saw this as bullshit. somehow He always did believe in it, yes, Todoroki Shouto believed in love. But Midoriya was no girl. No, Todoroki was informed of the phenomena gay but he never thought it was a real thing. he just though of it as some people just wanting to be rebellious towards the mainstream. Towards how society had been build and against nature. But now these feelings.. they were real. That was one thing he was sure of. These feelings are real and nothing les then feeling real love for someone. Not the love he felt for his sister or mother. And not the normal love you would feel for a friend as caring for them. No this was the feeling of love his mother had told him about when he was little. The love he was supposed to feel for a girl later as a grown up.

Now what? There was nothing he could do then to ignore each little sign. Each time his heart would beat fast whenever he was around him. Each time he wanted to give him a hug and tell him he liked him. Just was going to be ignored. His father was going to give him a extra beating if he found out about this. About him being gay. Not just for being gay, maybe that was the least of his worries. But more for the fact that he was falling in love. Hero's don't have time for love. The do not have time for making a family, for having a partner. They had to save people. Love was just something stupid. Something you do not need. He very much did not believe in this. Everyone needed at least some love in their life. He needed a lot of it. Don't get this wrong, he was doing way better after going out one every two weeks to meet up with his mother and he had a very loving sister who cared and loved him for who his was. But he still had a hard time with himself. When something good happens in live it doesn't fade away your past as the same for him. He actually sinds this was getting more issues with his father. He had started to find ways of dealing with the pain he had to endure each time he came home from school. His father impatiently waiting for him to go training and to beat him when ever he did not reach the aspectations endever held for him which he never did. Each time they got higher and each time he got further away from reaching them. Days in which his father got home late we his blessings until his loss at the tournament. It didn't matter anymore whenever he would get home at 8PM or 1AM he would just pull him from his bed to get his lazy ass out and train. The tournament had left its good things but it honestly wasn't enough. To make it even harder, his father would weigh him each time after school. Wanting him to lose weight because he was to "fat". Yes he had gained a few kilo's from the extra training at UA and getting to choose what he would have for lunch at school but no. this was to much for his father. he even was going to have to lose more because appearntly he found him to have even before he started UA. Oh well, lets not linger there to long. Now his new problem were the feelings he held for his friend. These awful gay feelings of love and wanting to bond and get closer. He could not let this happen.

"Todoroki I would apriate it a lot of you would stop staring at Midoriya and pay attention to class and read page 58 to 60 please." Their teacher said in annoyance. Todoroki turned red and nodded. Each single eye in class was turned to him while he tried to play it off like normal and started to red. His English was no one of the best but good enough to fluently pull through the pages without having to be corrected. When he was done reading he felt like he could breath again. Luckily the hero class 2-A wasn't to noisy apart from Bakugou and Kirishima but they grew more calm the more lecture they got.Soon after the bell rang and it was the end of their classes. Todoroki sighted deeply yet soft. He was so glad the day was over and his father was not coming home today so he could return without having to worry about yet another beating and actually eat something. His sister would always make cold soba for the two of them because it was his favourite thing in the whole world when it came to food and was easy to digest.

Waiting for most of his classmates to leave first. Not wanting to talk to any of them. Even Midoriya, Iida and Uraraka where of limits for this after noon. But down to his luck Midoriya pulled up next to him together with the others. "Hey, Todoroki, want to join us for ice cream? There is this new ice cream place and I heard they have really good ice cream. Iida, Uraraka and I were thinking about going out there and get some. Of course you do not need to if you don't want to because we are done early today and you are always really busy training after school and study too. But I really would love it if you could come and join us. We will miss you and we can't really get you any and bring it to you because first of we have no idea where you live and second the ice cream would have turned into a puddle of cream by the time we get to you. Of course you could ice it up again with your quirk but I heard refrosted ice cream isn't the best and actually will get freezer burn." Midoriya started to mumble out loud. Iida lay a hand onto his shoulder.

"I think Todoroki got your massage you can shut it." Todoroki did not know how to react. Sure he would like to get ice cream but he did not want to get into any kind of awkward situation he would have to talk himself out off. And he had all day off and to himself to rest and going out would give him a lot of stress.

"thank you for the offer Midoriya. I would have loved to go with you but I must go home, maybe some other time. My apologies." Smooth, he thought to himself. Hoping he still did not sound to rude for turning down the offer. "I also forgot my wallet at home and I wouldn't want to be such a bother with asking money. I'll see you tomorrow." Todoroki said, getting up from the chair he had been sitting on all day. His muscles cracking from being in the same position for more then three. Having to deal with his acing body from former beatings and training didn't help the comfort of moving much.

"OH.. well if you are sure we will see you tomorrow. Take care~" midoriya said and the rest also wished for you to have a good day. Todoroki waved and left the class room.