Will I ever be perfect? A boku no hero academia fanfiction

Chapter 5

That night Shoto decided to seek shelter from home and his thoughts and the best place to do it was where he had been banned from entering another food in but he needed it. He didn't trust himself, not trusting his mind yelling at him to go home. Knowing well it would end up in another beating but not only that but another self harm episode which might go to far.

He was in the elevator up to his mothers room, the dandelion still in his hand. He looked down at it. The flower already had started to wither.

He could relate to it. He wanted nothing more to go and die. Leave this world. To be thrown away. A small soft voice was hoping for a beating to be that fatal for him to be killed.

It took a few seconds to adjust tot the bright white hallways again when the door opened. Appears he had already reached the right floor without anyone else coming in.

When he walked out he was greeted by a few nurses who had gotten to know him over the time he was coming to visit his mother again. He told them hello. Showing them his mask of a strong independent young man.

Something he would never become.

First he knocked. A soft voice coming from the other side told him to enter so he did. Sliding the door open to the hospital room which had giving some more life. Photo farms of all his moms and dads children. No matter how damaged his mom was she loved each and everyone of them.

Two faces were turned towards him, Fuyumi and his mothers both at the same time. He dropped the dandelion. He was in shock. His body started to shake. He didn't know his sister actually visited her and now he was there at the same time. This was not good he could handle one worried face at a time but two of two of the only people keeping him alive was to much.

"Shoto..." His mother whisper at the sudden appears of her younger son. She looked pained and worried. The happening of this morning rushing through his head like lightyears. Had his sister told her. Did she know? Had they noticed. Everything he had been trying to hide.

"Ah, sorry to bother you while talking. I will go home. See you some other time.." He whispered to soft for them to hear and turned around to leave, stopping onto to dandelion while doing so.

His wrist was grabbed from behind again and this shot him into full panic mode. He sank down to the ground and started to cry, covering his head with both arms to protect himself from any harm that could be done to him. "I'm sorry. I'm sorry." The apologies leaking from his mouth as tears we streaming down his cheek.

His mother was watch. She was so scared of seeing him act this way. Shoto had always kept himself strong in front of her. Each time he came over to say hi he would crack a small smile from time while asking how she was doing. Avoiding anything to be told about he was doing. Telling her he wasn't coming over to talk about anything as dumb as his state of health. She always saw it as something teens would do. That is what she had been told but he also never told her about school anymore which worried her but this just scared her.

The pure fear he showed them showered her a damaged maybe a broken child bejoint prepare.

Fuyumi had let go of his as soon he got down to the ground. Not knowing what she could do. The visions she had of this morning haunted her mind. She saw him broken. Hating himself so much he had broken a mirror.

"Hey, brother, it's ok, you are save. No need to worry. it's me. Your sister Fuyumi. And mother of course. We won't hurt you. Please stop crying." She tried her best to stay calm but she also started to cry. She had tried to be his hero but she failed him. She dropped to the ground as well and pulled him into a tight hug. Something she hadn't done in years.

He would always to everything in his power not to be touched in a loving way. Not wanting it to make a bond stronger then it already was. Not wanting to feel the loving emotions from people who loved him. Telling them he wasn't worth it. She would joke about it. Telling him it was puberty but.. what if he really was trying to be hated so he could step out of his life. Was she over thinking this? She hoped so but it was hard because she could feel each bone in his body. And his body was tens. Like he was being held down.

"Relax, it's ok. You are safe. No one can hurt you here in the hospital. You are safe. Shh." She whispered into his ear. Soon she could feel an extra body heat join her. She smiled and looked up. their mother was joining her. Whispering loving words to her son. Telling him she loved him, that he was beautiful.

It took a while for Shoto to be relaxed. Well, for as relaxed as he could be as he ever will be.

"What gotten you here?" Fuyumi asked softly. "If you are home late dad will.." She bit his lip. Their mom did not know the level of abuse he would use on Shoto. And she would like to keep it like that.

"I.. I would have been late. I had a picnic with, my classmates Midoriya, Iida and Uraraka." He replied, not daring to call them his friends.

"Why.. why would you do that, you know how enji is. He'll hurt you.. he will hurt you whenever you are late. Why? Why not yesterday when it was just me. Is it your wish to be killed?" She could feel her frustration boiling her blood. She did not know where the anger came from.

"I know.. I just.. thought maybe.. I told him I was training instead.. I'd be fine.." He was soft. Using the word fine like he would ever be just fine with taking the normal beatings.

"Then why come here after. Do you want to bring mom in trouble and have him come down here to hunt you ass. You want her to see him again. Its your fault if he get here you know that right? I won't forgive you if that happened, mom is doing well on recovering yet you decide to show your face." Stop.. no don't say this. I don't mean it to be mean. God no. if only I could take these words back. No.. she shouldn't have.

Shoto stood up pulling away from them. "You're right. I am sorry, that was selfish of me. Sorry.." "Farewell.." He whispered. Walking away from them without turning back.

Their mother started to scream and cry. She had heard the farewell coming from his lips. It was like she had seen him die right on that spot. In front of them. That this was the last time she had seen him alive. Without being in a coffin, bidding him a good after life. "Shoto come back! Please come back please!" She cried while Fuyumi held her back.

Maybe a caring mother was all he needed. But she couldn't let her go to him. She as doing so well.

"He will be fine mom. He is strong he would be ok.. its not like he would end it.. he loved us to much for that." She told her while she watched Shoto waiting for the elevator. The ping was heard and all their faces went pale.