anti-depressants || ashton [au]

⇉ 0.2

new chapter

edited

☆

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0.2

the drive to annie’s small apartment felt drag on more than usual. maybe because her mother tried to have a civil conversation for the first time in four months, instead of telling her she was depressed and needs help. she didn’t want to talk to her mother, so she sat silently in the backseat, while her mother spoke annie’s ear off until they arrived to the apartment building.

once they stepped inside the hot and humid apartment, jen pulled on her arm, stopping annie from going to her room. jen said in a tight tone, as if she scared of the reaction that awaits of annie. annie had never liked the pills and jen knew that. “i just wanted to let you know that your shrink set up a higher dose of anti-depressants, you have to take it every five hours. so i want you to get out of your room every four hours. this is going to help get rid of the thoughts depression has given you.”

annie scoffed at jen, of course jen blamed everything on depression. annie was sick of it, sick of being called depressed, annie thought she just had knowledge on death, it’s not like she was planning on killing herself. yes, she’s not a happy person, but she has nothing to be happy about. her brother was out of the house finally, she didn’t have to hear his ‘part of being a man’ experience, but he was the only one to protect annie from her mother's harsh words. her father was swamped with work, she was pulled from school, and her mother is always telling her she’s mental. so as she stood across her mother,  her mouth agape as these thoughts went through her head. then, after two years, five months, and nineteen days, annie had let everything go.

she walked up to jen seething as spoke with fast hand gestures, “you, jen have ruined everything for me. you told me i’m mentally sick for years and blamed everything i did based on that thoughts i have. i’m not depressed, i just have nothing to be joyous about. and these thoughts i have are not what makes me sad, they are knowledge of how a world decides to end itself. i am not depressed. i may know many ways to kill myself, one hundred and seventeen to be exact. if you have not noticed i am still alive. i have not dared to do one of the one hundred and seventeen things to rid myself of this world. i want to live and see my future has . also if i can’t even sleep eight fucking hours i do not know what the hell gives you the audacity that i want to sleep for the rest of my life.”

once annie has finished her long speech said in anger her chest heaved in anger and all the emotions she had put into that.

jen was taken aback at her daughter's  strong words. jen was not used to her daughter speaking let alone that much. annie had always been silent, only speaking to refuse the pills. other than that annie trapped herself in her now, new room that was only hers, unlike before when it was shared with her brother. yet jen did not feel moved to believe her annie. jen thought it was another attempt to stop letting her take the pills.

once jen was out of her shocked state she only said six words that would let annie hate her mother more than she does. “you are still taking the pills.”

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ashton coming in the next chapter

dedicated to ammberrr, first commenter

bye