Brothers Roommate (18+)

The Reality of It

LONG ASS CHAPTER!! You're welcome!!😘

Guide:
Y/n = your name
If it's in parentheses (_) then it's in your mind! You're thinking it or recalling it.
POV = point of view
Narration comes ASIDE from what you and others say. The layout of my story is supposed to be like one big text conversation. That's the twist I placed on it and you get to read through Colby's point of view too so we can know EXACTLY what he's thinking. Enjoy!

*YOU'RE POV*

(His words touched my heart, he warmed it, he made me forget what I was. And that's not fair, this...this is wrong. I can't let myself ruin his life like I've ruined many others. The life of a vampire is only lived with the death of too many to mention. I don't reminisce on all the lives I've taken because if I did, I'd turn into something that should only belong in a fictional horror movie. The worst of that horrible truth is the part of me that wants to loose control. Wants nothing more than to rip life away and drain the blood of anyone who is unfortunate enough to cross my path. The burning inside of me craving blood above anything and everything, waiting to blow and I fear that when it does, Colby will be in the way. I can't take that chance.) I let go of Colby and look at him.

You: Colby this..just can't happen.
Colby: What do you mean?

I looked down at his hands holding my arms and I pulled them out his grip, putting one behind my back holding the other at my side. I looked back up at him. His face growing more and more frightened. (He's still afraid, of me? Of course he is, who wouldn't be! He's probably terrified of what he knows I could do to him. He knows too much of me. I wish he knew less. I wish he saw less. Ugh! Why did he have to see me! Things were perfect up until that point! (Voice of blood lust) What if you fixed it? Fix it? Take away what he knows? Make him forget? You can make him anything sweetheart. Anything you want. (Your voice of reason) I want...NOTHING! I'll take nothing!)

You: Colby I'm sorry! I just can't!

I yelled and turned around walking away. I could feel his eyes burning a hole in the back of my skull. I heard him lunge towards me to try and grab me and pull me back in once more. I could also hear his heart break as I disappeared from in front of him causing him to stumble in surprise at me no longer there. I ran back to my car and got in. This is what's for the best. (I can't let Colby in like that, not in any relationship type of way! I'm not exactly girlfriend material since all I wanna do is rip into my loves fucking throat and feed until I can't breath! I LOVE HIM!!) I screamed and threw my arm to the side, swiping back and breaking the top of the passenger seat in half. My other hand gripped the steering wheel so tight it squished under my hand like silly puddy. I looked at my now broken rental Ferrari. (Greeeaaaat. This is exactly why Love is an emotion just too damn strong for a fucking vampire! And that is the brutal curse that comes along with the incredible gift of immortality. Incredible gift? I'll never get sick, grow old, get tired, or stay physically hurt I guess, but all that is only thanks to one thing. One horrifying thing that revoltingly compels me to loose sight of who I am anymore, turning me into something else. Colby knows that now. He's seen it on my face. And yet he still wanted me to stay, perhaps with him even. But that won't work! I don't know if I can be who needs me to be! I can't be who he deserves. He deserves someone who wouldn't hurt him. Who couldn't ever hurt him. Not a psycho ass murderer who believe it or not has feelings and regrets every single one of her fucking kills even if they were "bad humans"! I know I've never hurt an innocent person. From my first to my last, none of them were completely innocent, and the only reason I know that to be true is the fact that innocence is life's greatest illusion. An illusion is only meant to trick you and make you see exactly what you want too and the sad part is it's not real, just a false reality in place to cover up a vial truth. I hold onto that believing the knife and gun welding dirt bags I've rid this world of had dark pasts perhaps even darker than mine. At least with they're deaths I hope I will have avenged someone who was unfortunate to cross they're path before I turned it indulgently fortunate, for me that is. I'm never going to rejoice in it, I can't, no matter how horrible my victims may have used they're lives, I am still stuck with the human nature I was born with and taking away others lives is not something you could live with, not without making reasoning.) I stared at my hand still in it's place on the steering wheel, I peeled it off and there was a grip imprint of my hand. I tried to squeeze it back into a regular shape, wait stop! (I've never done anything with cars so I'm not trying to make the air bag explode my face off. I need to leave, I don't want Colby to come with me, I need to feed again. On a regular diet, I need to feed 3-4 times in one fucking day. And that's just surviving, my stomach tells me I could kill hundreds every second of every day. The thirst for blood is unquenchable, the more I drink the stronger and more retainable it makes me. Getting drunk on blood is bullshit. Vampires can't do that because that is all we need. Could I get real drunk though for sure! Remember my body functions just like if I was human??! Actually that's exactly what I'll do! I'm getting drunk to hopefully drown my sorrows....)