Damaged

When?

He didn't know when his love for her started. He knew why it started, but when, that's what he couldn't remember

He knows what he loves about her. Her eyes. Her smile. Her words. Her hands. She made him feel calm. There was not a lot of people in the world who could do that.

But when did he start loving her? What was the exact moment?

And in a flash, it came back to him.

It was a dark night. The thunder outside didn't help with his nightmares either. He woke up in a sweat, screaming for his life. The pain felt real, like they were digging into his skull, electrocuting his body.

He didn't hear her come in.

Like a ghost, her footsteps echoed across the floor and before he could turn away, she was sitting on his bed, her concerned eyes peering up at him.

Her eyes helped him forget. His pain vanished.

She leaned forward, placing her delicate hands on the curve of his bicep.

"Are you ok?" she asked

All he could do was shy away, ashamed of the pity in her eyes.

"It is ok to ask for help. I can help you. I can ease your pain, make it better"

He almost gave in. To her beautiful eyes and small hands. Her Russian accent sounding a melody in his ears. His heart was pounding. At that moment, he felt something shift within himself, a slight crack in the wall could be seen, in the wall he built so high.

"No," he replied. He could not do this to himself, nor could he do this to Vision. And that was that. The wall was there for a reason. No one can see behind the wall, no one could handle it. A monster. That's what they would call him.

He jerked his arm away and turned his back to her, hoping she couldn't feel his heart beating; not because of fear but because of her. He felt the weight shift in his bed.

"I am always here Bucky. Whenever you need me, I will always be here," she whispered.

Then like a gust of wind, she was gone.

The air around him crashed onto his shoulders and he let out a breath he didn't know he had been holding. The ghost of her presence lingered, enveloping Bucky like a blanket. That night, he closed his eyes for the first time in months, and he slept till morning.

That was the exact moment that Bucky Barnes knew he had fallen in love with Wanda. As he fell asleep, his heart fell for her. And as the days went by, he began to notice everything about her. Everything that he would grow to love.

Maybe his love had been festering; the emotions of the war and the toll it took. Except maybe this time it took a different form.

When, what, why. All of them answered, all of them known. Yet nothing to be acted upon.

Why him?

**Vision was alive during this chapter. Sorry if it wasn't clear! This chapter was a backstory

***The following chapters will all be happening in the present. There may be a few backstory chapters but I'm not sure where I'm going with this yet.

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