Flames of Bedlam - Book 1

4-3: Discovery

The following days were a haze wrapped in pain and comfort. Sometimes I was awake to see Horizon wrapping my wounds and putting me back together again. Sometimes I just slept in a deep, dark state of mind. I struggled with the weight of overwhelming guilt and self-loathing.

This... was not one of my proudest times.

I know if it hadn't been for the advanced medical attention Horizon provided, I probably wouldn't have made it. I was aware enough to know that she was treating Levi, too, for his burns and wounds. Neither of us was in any shape to try to make it further away from the crater.

We had enough food stashed for such an emergency, though Horizon had to go forage further away to find plants for herself. The corrupted land didn't bear any greenery — nothing but the shadows where trees once proudly stood.

In my delirium, I often relived things. Dark things. The First Attack. Facing Bristle. Worry that Horizon would go out to forage and not come back. The Flames did their best to try to work into my mind while I was weak and helpless.

Despite my dark thoughts, and despite the fact I didn't deserve to live, I continued to reject that pull. I'd already caused enough pain for those around me. I wouldn't add to it me becoming a creature like Bristle. Not after all the struggle Levi and Horizon went through to fix my broken spirit.

And what had I ever given them in return?

Well, I started with what I didn't give them. A Chaotic Dragon.

I struggled most with the knowledge that the Chaos had so infested the Dragons I brought to be that they were beyond our reach. The way Bristle spoke, other Dragons had already died to Chaos. To the thing he called the Burning.

My mind shied away from the thought of the torment that he and the other Dragons must have endured. The few words he shared during our battle told me that he both desired and despised the dark energies that consumed him. He was aware of what it was doing, but he couldn't stop it, nor did he really want to.

It never occurred to me that what I started long ago in the Grove couldn't be reversed. Couldn't be fixed. It had all been so easy to manipulate before. Why was it so hard now?

It hadn't occurred to Levi, either. He'd put all of his hopes into fixing the situation. He sacrificed his good name and image with his own people, releasing me from a much-deserved execution, all with the stipulation that we would mend the broken.

Now, we had nothing to show for it. He had nothing to show for it... except for a situation that was far worse than he imagined. How would he explain this to his village Elders? Would he be able to return there at all?

These thoughts were exhausting.