NOT IN THAT KIND OF RELATIONSHIP(EDITED)

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I wake up the next morning and I'm really sore especially my lower part.
That was the best experience ever, I can't believe I waited so long to get intimate with a guy. But i am glad i waited because I have girlfriends who told me that their first time was not the best, so atleast i had the best experience.
I hear the shower running and I get up with the intention of joining Zende.

I open the shower door and Zende turns around and looks at me

"Why didn't you tell me you were a virgin Mandy?" That wasn't the question I was expecting so early in the morning. I thought he would ask something like,*did you enjoy last night* not that.

"I didn't think it was relevant honestly, and what would you have done differently if I had told you"

"I don't know what i would have done differently probably nothing but I just wanted to know"

I just decide not to comment on it and get into the shower with him.

"Mandy I have to go back to my apartment to change. I didn't think I would spend the night here."
"Oh, okay, I just thought we could mess around a bit before you left" I try to hide my disappointment and I really hope he didn't notice it.

"I will come come back later or tomorrow, I don't know. I hate leaving Lacy alone when im not even travelling."
I want to ask who Lacy is but we aren't in that kind of relationship.
"Oh okay, well I guess I will let you finish with your shower then"
I turn and leave the bathroom with a towel wrapped around my body.
I want to ask who Lacy is but I don't know how to start that conversation.
What if it's his girlfriend or even worse wife.
I don't want to be caught up in such scandals honestly.

I hear the door open and I look up only to see his bare chest, he has a towel wrapped around his hips and I can see his outline clearly. My mouth suddenly becomes dry when I think of all the things he did to me last night. He looks so beautiful right now, if I had confidence I would get up let my towel fall and let him have his way with me.
"Mandy stop looking at me like that, I really have to go and the way you are looking at me now is really turning me on"
I immediately look down and I can't help but blush. I didn't think he noticed me staring at him.

30 minutes later I'm left all on my own in the huge house, and I do not know what to do with all the time I have on my hands.
I might end up applying for a job in finance if I want to make something of myself.
I don't think acting will cut it.
My mind keeps going back to the lady Zende mentioned earlier. I can't help it really.

I decide to call Emily and ask if she can come over, i am beyond bored and I need to keep my mind occupied.
Emily agrees to come for a sleepover, i am sure Zende will not mind.

I mean this is my house also, i live here more than he does and I can decide who visits and who does not.
I quickly go upstairs to shower and get ready for Emily to come.
We need to catch up honestly and i need someone to talk about my feelings with.

Just as i finish drying my hair Emily texts me to tell me she is outside, i head down stairs to open the gates for her.

£££££££££££

We are sitting outside in the garden because those chairs in the loving room are really uncomfortable.

"How have you been?"she asks
"Well i cannot complain, i lost virginity yesterday, it was the best experience ever honestly"
"Why do i feel like there is a but coming" she says.
I sigh, "well he was really cold this morning. I just thought he would be more.. i dont know maybe im overthinking this"

"Mandy you are not overthinking anything. If you were with someone who was serious about you, he would have made sure you had a wonderful time yesterday and maybe prepared a warm bath for you. Your feelings are justified honestly. But you knew what you were doing when you signed up for this right?"

"Yeah i guess, im just a mess right now, I will be fine" i say
Emily pulls into a hug and i ball my eyes out.

This was not supposed to happen this way.

"I think we need some icecream, cake and alcohol so we can drink till we drop yeah?"
I nod, i dont really drink all that much but tough times call for tough decisions.

"Well lets go buy everything so we can listen equally sad music that will depress us even more while drinking ice-cream and alcohol. It wont solve anything but you need it now and since i am your best friend I am obliged to drink and cry with you" she says as she pulls me to her car.

I just appreciate the fact that she did not say she told me so. I have a feeling I should have listened to her and not involved myself with playboys.

I thought he would have been happy that he was the first person i had sex with but he seemed mad.
It's at times like this that I honestly do miss my mom. She could have maybe shed some light here although I don't even know how I would have started the conversation on how I had sex.

I realised I didn't even tell Emily about about this Lacy individual. I mean we are friends, best of friends actually but somethings you really have to keep to yourself.
I'm already embarassed so I dont need to embarrass myself further and I'm sure she would say she told me so.

.........
Sorry for the late update guys
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