TO: HYUN | 2HYUN

𝐓𝐎: 𝐌𝐈𝐍𝐇𝐘𝐔𝐍

probably the most emo chapter ever so brace yourself :')

hi, minhyun-ssi. i remember the first time we talked, it was on your birthday. i told you i coincidentally came across your profile, but actually i didn't. you probably don't know, but i've always been following you on instagram. the first time i heard your voice in one of your song covers, i already fell for it. you're just a trainee, but how are you so good?

anyways, i finally mustered the courage to message you on kakao. i didn't expect anything, but you gladly replied. we continued talking every day without fail. despite your busy trainings, you still took the time to reply me. i can really feel that you treat me as your friend, minhyun-ah.

remember the performance you talked about? i said i couldn't make it, but i did went. i'm sorry that i lied, but i didn't feel ready and confident enough to face you yet. i didn't want you to feel disappointed when you see me, or when you really get to know me. that day, our eyes met. under that mask, i was grinning. you probably didn't know it's me, but you noticed, and i'm happy.

when you asked for my photo, i was so reluctant to. my self consciousness was acting up so much. you sounded so upset though.. i didn't want you to feel that way. yes, don't ever lose that smile of yours, no matter how tough things get.

then i never expected this day to come. you actually asked me out. i thought of one thousand reasons to reject you, but i didn't. i was so down that day, i'm glad you asked me out. at least there was someone to accompany me, even though you don't know i'm feeling that way. the arcade date was great because it was with you. you acted like a happy child whenever you won, so i let you win everytime, just to see that smile of yours. how i wish we had spent longer time together..

you asked me, if i don't smile often. right, i really don't. other than my 3 other friends, you're the first one whom i smiled so much for. you asked me if i don't have any problems or stress.. actually i do, perhaps more than you. i know you would be more than willing to listen to them, but some things are so complicated i don't know how to potray it through texts. if i told you face to face, i will most likely break down and you will see the worst side of me. what if after that, you don't want to be my friend anymore? i have concerns like that, minhyun-ah..

i know you're having a hard time being a trainee. you always practice till late at night, i'm worried if you're resting well, eating well, coping well. won't i stress you further if you had to deal with my issues as well? maybe you won't mind, but i do. i hope you focus on pursuing your dream and not me. i'm not worth that much of your time..

it's been 4 months and i really cherish the times we had together, even if they were spent online. all the memories, they will stay in my mind forever. although it's short, it's really one of the best moments i had in my life, minhyun-ah.

remember our promise? that you will make it on the stage someday? i'm waiting till that day so don't disappoint me! i know you will definitely debut with your 10 other friends, so hang on! remember, i'm your number 1 fan. please don't forget me. but even if you do, i will still keep you close to my heart.

lastly, this will be my final message to you before i step into another phase of my life. sorry and thank you for everything. one day, let's meet again, minhyun-ssi.

from: jonghyunnie