The Bad Boy's Crush

Chapter 16: it's not a dream, it's reality

Alvan’s POV

So now I’m waiting outside the operation room. I called Mrs Tan to come immediately. I looked at the operating room’s door…oh Renee, why do you have to suffer this way? I cupped my hands and prayed she would be fine.

I closed my eyes as images flashed through my mind…

Start of flashback

I was telling her of Amanda when suddenly she spitted out blood. My eyes widened as I saw her, vomiting out a pool of fresh blood. I didn’t know what to do, the last thing I expect was something bad happening to Renee, she was fine. The doctor said she was fine, he said it. That was when Renee touched me with her icy cold hands and mouthed these words to me and I understood although she didn’t actually say it out loud. ‘ help me…help me…’ these words were the last thing I heard from her.

The next thing I knew, doctors and nurses came rushing in and bringing her to the operating room.

Renee’s POV

I was just listening to him, but then, it happened to me. I felt something rushing up my nose and throat. It wanted to swallow it back but it just came rushing out of my nose and mouth. BLOOD!!! I hated to see blood, it’s just really revolting. I knew Alvan was shocked and he didn’t know what to do, he just stood there, wide-eyed. I reached out to him and I tried to say something out of my mouth but I couldn’t. I knew I won’t make it. I used the last atom of my strength to mouth to him those words ‘help me…help me…’ and I collapsed on the bed.

End of flashback

Alvan’s POV

‘Mrs Tan! You’re here!’ I stood up and greeted her. ‘Where’s she? Is she alright?’ Mrs Tan asked worriedly. I didn’t want to tell her the truth, I was afraid she couldn’t take it, but I had to tell her. ‘she’s in the operating room now, the doctors are still trying to save her life’ I told her everything that happened as Mrs Tan collapsed onto the seat. Her expression…was so familiar, like I’ve seen it before. I stared at her, now I remember. That day, Amanda was in the operating room too, her mum was also wearing the same expression on her face then it struck me. That very day, just a few years ago was when Amanda committed suicide…

No…no no no no no. Amanda didn’t make it…then would Renee make it too…? This was when I broke down, I collapsed to the ground as hot tears ran down my cheeks uncontrollably. Mrs Tan would probably be staring at me but I didn’t care. Amanda got killed all because of Ryan and this time, Renee’s life is hanging like a thread all beause of Ryan too. If Ryan didn’t pick up a fight with me, Renee wouldn’t have been slapped by Nicole and she wouldn’t have met with an accident and she wouldn’t be here in the hospital.

I just sat there thinking of many possible situations that Renee would be in if she didn’t get into a car accident. Maybe she would be having dinner with me? Laughing at all my lame jokes? Or maybe she’ll be with Jake? Hanging out? Watching a movie like the other time when Renee forgot about me? I silently laughed at that incident, I didn’t care. I didn’t care if Renee would get together with Jake or not, I didn’t mind at all as long as she is alive…

The operation room’s door swung opened and I snapped out of my daydreaming and wiped away my tears. The doctor asked ‘may I know who is Renee’s parent or guardian?’ Mrs Tan immediately rushed to the doctor ‘doctor, how is my daughter? Was the operation successful?’ I could tell that Mrs Tan was still hoping that Renee could survive. I also wished I had that little amount of hope in me but it was gone.

‘I’m sorry Mrs Tan, we tried our best, she wouldn’t last through the night. You can say your last words to her while you still can. We are deeply sorry’ I bit my lip and sighed. The worst has finally arrived. But at least we still can talk to her till she’s…gone.

We opened the operation room door as it gives off like those soft ear-piercing sound like the door is rusted. There I saw, her. Her weak body like a dead person lay there, she turned to us and gave us a weak smile. ‘hey guys’ that was the first thing that broke the eerie silence. ‘I’ll miss you dear, I have many regrets. I regret not spending more time with you. I regret not giving you whatever you wanted. And I’m sorry, Renee. I’m really sorry’ Mrs Tan’s voice trembled and she was shaking. She hugged Renee. ‘I love you too mum. And don’t say sorry, I don’t ask for much anyway. You, instead worked hard to make ends meet and you did! I love you for not giving up even if dad give up on us and thank you for that mum. I love you’ Mrs Tan weakly smiled back and started to break down and ran out of the room.

The room was left with me and her. I brushed a strand of hair that was covering her face away and tucked it behind her ears. I stared at her brown eyes and I could see, fear in her eyes. I knew she tried to hide it away from everyone else and put on a brave front. Before we could say anything else, I hugged her tightly as tears rolled down my cheeks. I knew I was gonna miss her. I’m gonna miss our fights, our laughters, our jokes, our staying overs, our hugs, our awkward moments, our midnight chats and most importantly, her company. of course i didn't want her to go, how could i? how could i survive without her? 

'Renee, are you okay?' okay, that was a stupid thing to say, i mean of course she's not okay, she gonna die soon, what nonsense are you talking about Alvan?! but her reply surprised me 'yea i'm fine' she gave me her widest smile. i wiped away my tears and kneeled down beside her bed. We started talking about stupid things we did like when we went to the beach a few months ago. We were laughing as we talked. That was when Renee laughed too hard till she started coughing. Her cough just scared me, she cough as though as she was coughing her heart out, it really scare me. I gave her some water to drink but the last thing that was on my mind was that she would die in my arms.

When i poured her a glass of water, she held it as her hands trembled so much. After she took a sip, she choked on the water and she coughed out fresh blood and she collapsed on the bed. I immediately sat on her bed and slid my arm under her head 'Renee, no, don't die now. We still have many other stuff to chat about. i still haven't told you about my parents and my life yet. Don't go please.' Renee weakly looked at me and put her freezing cold hands on my cheeks and she said 'Alvan, there's no hope anymore. Go to my house, my room. In my study table's drawer, there's a blue coloured box, get it and don't lose it. Promise me you won't lose it okay?' i nodded my head as a tear dropped down on her hand on my cheek. 'and Alvan, i've always wanted to say this but i didn't have the guts to, but I...love...you' and her hand dropped down from my cheeks to the bed. I widened my eyes, i kept telling myself, no Alvan, this is just an awful dream, i'll pinch myself and everything would be back to normal right? but i was just fooling myself, no matter how many times i pinch myself, i won't wake up because this isn't a dream, it's reality...

Author's note: Hey guysss :> finally i have time to complete this chapter. as you guys have read until here, you must know that Renee died :< ok fine, ik in the first 'chapter' (or isit the second?) i said this story is about my life, well part of it? erm...i'm sorry but i lied about that :/ i'm so sorry >< so yea, the next chapter would probably be the last (i think? maybe i'll make a bonus chapter :D so erm...do continue supporting me!!! wtf i sound like some weirdo asking for others to support this shitty story :< i can't even...well, erm, i gtg sleep so yea, i'll try to upload the next chapter asap tho i haven't even started it :/ baiii :3