when you came back

part 23

I got up from my bed still slightly disoriented from earlier and I walked over to Antonio's room. I had to make things right, I had to fix my life and I'm not going to just stand there and just be the weak and abused person that I was in the past.

I went threw his drawers and moved his clothing around, looking for the one thing that could save me. Something that will make everyone listen to me and make them fear me as well. I finally pulled out a silver object and held it tightly in my hand as I put my finger on the trigger. I smiled slightly as I see the object glimmer under the light.

I've made up my mind and nothing would change that, today I am going to end my nightmare.

I calmly walked downstairs with the gun in my hand and tears started to form in my eyes, million of thoughts going threw me as I made my way to the living room. My fratello, Ludwig and Antonio were all downstairs sitting down, talking quietly.

When I stepped on the last stair step it creaked under my weight, making the three nations suddenly turn around and look at me confused.

"fratello what are you doing out of-"

My brothers eyes widen as he catches a small glimpse of the gun that I was holding and stands up quickly, speechless and scared. Soon the other two nations catch on and stand as well, seeing the gun.

It was if they knew what Feli saw and the silence of the room whispered it to their ears making them stand alarmed and slightly frightened of me. Antonio spoke softly and slowly as he stared at the gun that was iny grasp

"Lovino...look I know your life these past months were and are the worst...but don't do anything rash, por favor put the gun away"

Antonio then looked at me with horrified eyes and his skin looked paler, he took a step closer to me carefully as Ludwig grabbed Feliciano's hand pulling my brother away.

"ve know you're depressed but zhis von't solve anthing! Do you have any idea how scared your bruder is right now!"

The German man cried out as he held my brother close to his chest as if I would hurt my brother. I didn't know if I should of offended by his actions or pleased that he protected my brother from me because truth be told I still wanted to hurt Feliciano as well because of what he told me earlier when he was with me in my room about forgiving Antonio and going back to him.

But kill him?

I wasn't sure if I was strong enough to do so...

I quickly looked over at Antonio, and I spoke lowly and dangerously as I narrow my eyes and hold the gun tighter, careful so I wouldn't pull the trigger yet before it was time.

"do you have any idea how much you made me suffer...you cheated, I was kidnapped, raped, branded, whipped, touched and to top it all off you raped me as well...I'm so disgusted with my body and its all your damn fault!"

I raise the gun, pointing it at the Spaniards head and I clinch my jaw tightly in anger.

"but even after all of that I still fucking love a bastard like you!"

Antonio's widen in shock as the room falls silent again.

I didn't know what to do with myself, I had everything but with one huge mistake that he with cheating on me not with a man but with a women I had to paid for it more then I should of. He didn't deserve to love or to even love me still...and it applied to me as well, I can't love a person like that either it was wrong of me.

Tears start to fall down my face and my hand starts to shake slightly as I take deep breaths to try to calm down as I stare at my ex. Antiono didn't move at all, instead he smiled slightly at me.

"...if it's what you want, then I'll pay this price and hopefully this will end your suffering and my own because no mater what. Te amo Lovino, and if I was you would kill me too because I don't deserve you at all.."

My eyes widen as I hear him speak, feeling as if the whole world stopped and the only moving things in this room was me, Antonio and the gun...