You're the reason why I breathe.

"As long as you're here with me, I know I'll be okay."

The next day we went to New York. Angelo thought I needed a vacation, to get my mind off of things. He's been taking care of me ever since he left, making sure I wouldn't do anything stupid.  

I sighed as I walked down the sidewalk right by his side. He looked down at me and slid his arm around my waist, pulling me closer to him. My eyes widened while I looked up at him, baffled. He chuckled and kissed my forehead, rubbing my waist. I smiled a bit, looking back down at the ground. "Come on, Ricky. He'll come back someday." He said, frowning.

"But what if he doesn't?" I asked

"We both know Chris, he's just not gonna leave his dream behind and people he loves for this long. I bet your ass he'll come back soon." He answered, sighing quietly. I nodded slowly, he was right. We all know Chris.

"I'll never hurt you or leave you as long as I live, I promise."  

I stopped in my tracks, thinking about him once again. "Ricky?" Angelo asked, stopping also.

"I love you so much." 

 I shook my head, starting to walk again. Stop thinking about him I thought to myself, running my fingers through my hair. "What can I do to show you i'm sorry.." I said quietly, looking down at my feet as I walked. "You know Chris wouldn't want you worrying to death like this. Smile for me, please? I miss your smile." I giggled quietly and smiled for him. He smiled back, ruffling up my hair playfully. I scrunched up my nose and smacked his arm lightly. I had a weird feeling he had a crush on me, maybe that's why he's been treating me like this. I shook my head, trying to shake the thought of Angelo being in love with me off. But it all adds up, he even sleeps with me. Well, technically I crawl into the bed with him at night because I end up nightmares and wake up screaming and sobbing. He got used to it, since it's been going on for two years now. The nightmares have gotten so intense I ended up having to take sleeping pills. Those stopped working two weeks ago, so I just gave up on the whole "Sleep" idea. 

We walked up to the hotel we were staying in. I looked up to see Angelo with the biggest smile on his face. I raised an eyebrow and nudge his side with my elbow. He looked down at me. "Oh, sorry. Am I smiling again?" He asked. 

"Yes, yes you are." I answered, curious why he was so happy.

"You'll see why in a minute." He said, walking up to the desk to check us in. While he did so, I looked around the hotel lobby. I actually enjoyed it, made me feel like I'm home, until I saw a tall figure that reminded me of Chris walk past. He actually looked like him too. I turned around fully to get a better look at him. He had spider bites, tattoos, everything that Chris had. I had to fight the urge to run up to him and shower him in affection. I turned back around and looked as Angelo grabbed the two key cards and pulled me along to the elevator. I looked over my shoulder to see the man checking in. "Chris.. Angelo. That's Chris, it has to be Chris. " I said quietly, tugging at his shirt. He looked over his shoulder and sighed. "Ricky, that can't be Chris." He said. I looked once again but only to see a average man checking in. "You're starting to scare me now." He said, worry filling his voice. "I'm scaring everyone, Angelo. I can't even sleep without thinking about him." I said as we both walked into the elevator. "You'll get your mind off of him somehow, I promise." 

~

"Sir, please take a chance to think about this, you have a life to live, you have friends, you have family-" Yeah, but my boyfriend left me just because of one stupid mistake. 

I was sat on the edge of the skyscraper hotel me and Angelo were staying at. I watched as my legs dangled, wishing that I would stop being such a pussy and jump already. Just jump. He's not coming back, you don't have any reason to live anymore. I thought, running my fingers through my hair and sighing deeply. All you have to do is jump. No one will come to save you, no one will help you. No one.  I screamed to the top of my lungs and put my face in my hands. I just want it to end. I want the memories to stop, I want the nightmares to go away, I want everything that reminds me of him to go away, and the only way to solve that problem is to jump off of this building and kill myself. Jump. No, he'll come running to save me. He loves me, right?

He doesn't love you, and you know that. You knew that from the start, way before he even asked you out. "Shut the fuck up" I growled, rubbing my forehead. I pulled my hands away from my face and looked back down at the frightened people and petrified police. What, you've never seen a 22 year old man wanting to kill himself because of a heartbreak before? I know this is the selfish way out, I know I shouldn't want to do this to myself just because I can't deal with the pain anymore, but this is the only way I can think of. I tried seeing a psych, I tried pills, I've tried everything in the book. Now it's time to end my pain. I leaned forward, taking a deep break, trying to get the strength to push myself off. I closed my eyes and kept taking deep breaths. Jump. Just jump and everything will be over. I heard a familiar voice scream my name.

"DON'T JUMP!" My eyes widened and I turned around to see Chris. I froze, amazed that he's even here. "C..Chris?" I said, barely even whispering. He took a step closer to me. "You must be out of your mind." He said, frowning. "I'm so sorry I left. I didn't think it would result in you trying to kill yourself." I stood up, facing him, still right on the edge. I'm hallucinating. That's not him. I finally took one step back, almost falling off of the building. "Ricky, NO!" He screamed, darting straight to me and pulling me into his arms. "I'm here. I'm back. I'm not leaving you again." He said, pulling me away from the edge. I started to sob into his chest, clinging onto him for dear life as we know it. "Don't leave me again, please! I'm sorry!" I screamed, shaking uncontrollably. He sat down on the building, sighing and stroking my hair. "Ricky, i'm back. Ssh, i'm right here. I won't ever do this again. I'm sorry, baby. I'm sorry." He said, rocking me in his arms. I curled up into a ball and grabbed onto his shirt as my sobs started to calm down. He tilted my chin up with his finger and kissed me gently. I couldn't help but to smile against his lips and kiss him back. 

"I love you so much, Ricky. Don't ever do anything like this again."