You're the reason why I breathe.

Lullaby

I ran upstairs to my room and slammed the door, trying to hold in my tears. I was hyperventilating and I felt nauseated. I was having a panic attack, great. 

I walked over to the corner and just.. collapsed there. I tumbled over onto my side and pulled my knees up to my chest, curling up into a ball, and sobbed. I tried my best to quiet it down and thank god I did. I didn't want anyone up here, I just needed someone to come tell me everything is going to be alright. I wanted that someone to be Chris- Wait. I want a GUY that I just met a few hours ago to come and hold me and calm me down? Ha, I gotta quit fantasizing so damn much. I didn't know that someone came in until I felt a pair of arms wrap around me and pull me into their lap. Their arms snaked around my waist and held me like it was the last time they'd see me again. I buried my face into their chest and I was sobbing and trembling violently. I couldn't control it anymore. I kept my feelings bottled up for long enough and this is the only opportunity I have to let them all out. I tried to catch my breath and inhaled their scent. Chris.. 

"Ssh.. Calm down, Ricky.." He cooed into my ear, rubbing my back like he did in my dream. My sobs slowed down quickly when I heard his voice trying to calm me down. And it worked, because all I remember was my eyes slipping shut and me dozing off to sleep. 

~ 

When I started to wake up, I heard an astounding voice singing something quietly. 

"Hush my love now don't you cry, everything will be alright. Close your eyes and drift in dream, rest in peaceful sleep."  

I smiled at the sound of his voice and looked up at him. "Keep singing, please." His eyes widened and he looked down at me, his cheeks were a bright pink. "I-I didn't know you were listening.." He said, a bit startled that I was listening. "But okay.." I placed my head back onto his chest, but this time with my ear on his heart. It was beating faster, just like when I woke up. I smiled even bigger knowing that I make him feel this way. 

"If there's one thing I hope I showed you, if there's one thing I hope I showed you. Hope I, showed you.. Just give love to all.." 

I took his hand and laced my fingers with his, rubbing the back of his hand with my thumb. He was so nervous he let out a shaky breath. "Don't be nervous, it's just me." 

"That's the point. It's you.." He said, smiling a bit. I giggled and played around with his coffin ring. "Don't stop, don't mind me. I want to hear your flawless voice echo through my head.."

"Oh my love in my arms tight, every day you give me life. As I drift off to your world, rest in peaceful sleep. I know there's one thing that you showed me, I know there's one thing that you showed me, that you showed me.. Just give love to all."

"Chris, that was beautiful.." I said, my eyes glassy. This boy made me feel like i'm something. Even though I just met him, I feel like i've known him forever.. He shrugged and smiled a bit. "I can be a softie at times." He ruffled up my hair playfully and chuckled. Then I did something I never thought I'd do.

I leaned in and kissed him.