Emails: From You To Me

26

"Mom, isn't Denbrook like an hour away from my school? Why would you send me there?" She wouldn't have. 

I asked before I saw all of those friends you made, I didn't think you would mind sweetheart." She looked down, I didn't mean to raise my voice at her. 

"I-It's okay. I was just a bit shocked." She tries hard, so I have to try hard too. I just don't want to leave Matthew. 

"Thank you baby. I'll keep you updated." She kissed my cheek and walked off.  It was funny, when Matthew did it, it made me feel weird. 

"Morning curly fry." Matthew greeted me the next morning, we were back to our Coral Springs weather. No clouds and sixty degrees in mid-January. 

"Morning." 

"Got any plans after school?" He asked. I have to tell him I might have to leave. 

"N-no. Um, actually I-" But I couldn't finish my sentence, Lauren bumped right into me. 

"Good morning!" She greeted Matthew and immediately held his hand. It felt like she was trying to push me away, but I'm still sure she's not so bad. 

"Morning Lauren. How's Jackson?" Tthey continued walking as I followed behind, I burned feeling like the third-wheel again. 

"Our little boy is finally house-trained, you want to come see him after school?

"Okay." And just like that, my confession was thrown down the drain. I'll just have to tell him some other time today, but soon. 

But it seemed like every time I tried to talk to him alone, Lauren kept butting in!

"She's frustrating!" I vented and accidently bumped into another girl. "S-sorry."

"Weirdo." And it had to be Stephanie. "Go somewhere." She shoved me way and I bumped into someone else. 

"Sorry." I apologized, it was another girl, but her style was unique. 

"No sorry, you alright?" She smiled. Her shirt read "Reject."

"Y-yeah, I didn't mean to run into you." I apologized again. 

"No problem. I'm Luze." She opened her hand to me. 

"Henri." I shook it. It was oddly easy to talk to her, but has she always been in this school?

"What lunch do you have? I have it fifth." 

"I have fourth."

"Darn, I'm sorry. I've always been a little awkward with people, so that was embarassing." She hid behind her hoodie sleeve. 

"N-no problem." She wasn't as bad as me.

"What grade are you in? We might have a class or two together and I just haven't noticed you." 

I highly doubt that. "Senior." I answered. 

"Oh wow. Well, I'm a freshman. See you around." By the time she ran off, the bell rang with more announcements. I was going to be late for lunch. However, it was pleasant to see there are still nice kids walking around in this school. 

"What took you so long?" Lauren greeted me once I made it in. 

"W-what?" 

"Matthew left early, can I talk to you privately?" She pointed to the outside campus. 

"S-sure." 

We walked outside, it was breezy, but not so cold it wasn't bearable like New Years. We went to the back parking lot where Matthew usually parked his car, but it wasn't there. Did he really leave? Was he okay? Did something happen? 

"Is he okay? Did something happen?" I asked but calmed my flurrying thoughts. 

"Matthew's not okay and it's your fault." She said and my chest tightened. 

"It's my fault? What's my fault?" My throat suddenly got dry. I'm confused. 

"What did you guys do on New Years?" She asked me and I felt dizzy. 

"W-what?" 

"I asked what you guys did on New Years? I have a right to know as his girlfriend!" I froze, I forgot about that. She was his girlfriend, and I did all of that with Matthew. On top of that, I'm a male. 

"W-we. We." I couldn't bring myself to say anything. 

"It's whatever. I already know." Hearing that should make my mind relax, "You're disgusting." But the insults she could throw made my head spin. I couldn't take things like this well. 

"You're terrible, and less than a human being. You disgust me and you're gross to look at and its nasty to even think about the things you did.  No one even wants you here, why don't you just leave? You'll get that title of a homosexual anyway, you freak." Her words spun around me like I was a fly trapped in her web. 

"You said it a little too well." Stephanie came out with Richie who sneered at me. He took Lauren back into the school building who continued to swear as tears rolled down her cheeks. The only thing I wanted was for tears to roll down my cheeks, but nothing was coming out. 

No words. No air. No tears. No sounds.

I'm going to be sick! The world turned dark.

I stumbled looking around at the hazy sky infront of me, why even bother living a life like this? Matthew doesn't need me, and the school  doesn't want me. My mom probably goes to work so often because she hates being around me too often. 

I hear a siren. 

I wish Matthew would come to me and tell me that this was all a lie. Everyone was playing some horrible prank on me, my anxiety was just fooling me. I want to feel his touch, or even just hear his voice. Anything. It would calm me down, I cried. 

"Are you alright son? You're okay, you're okay." I heard a voice, I felt weightless, and everything went blank. 

My mind felt like it reset.