Redemption of a Soul

Chapter 7

Only a day later Eli is still coming unhinged; he is pacing through his house, and tugging at the roots of his hair. Not a second goes by where his skin does not crawl with disgust of himself. The familiar hunger and burn for drugs courses through him. The figurative devil on his shoulder chants, " You want them. You need them." All at the same time the angels voices softly whispers, "You are stronger than that, Eli." A quick thought runs through Eli's mind about how his angel sounds a lot like Claire and the irony makes him chuckle to himself. The thought has him reaching for his phone to call Claire and tell her the issues that are bothering him now but he hesitates.
Eli briefly forgets about the war brewing inside of him as memories flash in front of him like a movie. Like the moments he's spent with Claire divulging his innermost secrets and hauntings. Along with the peaceful dinners that the pair has shared together, and even the stories she had shared with Eli present themselves. The happiness is swiftly replaced with malice, because to Eli everything was a lie. Claire was not his friend and she never was. Claire was only pretending to care for him, and it was probably just so she could get inside of his head like the doctor she is. In the moment of rage Eli hurls his phone to the floor with full intent on breaking it.
As the minutes pass he calms slightly and with a defeated sigh he reaches down and grabs his phone up from the floor to find that it did not break. Like a bright red neon sign Dr. Sanchez's contact information miraculously appeared on Eli's phone screen sometime between throwing it down and picking it up. Eli shrugs his shoulders as if to say 'fuck it' and sprints out of the door down the road to Dr. Sanchez's office.
Not only is Dr. Sanchez's office in the same building as Claire it neighbours her office too. It took an abundance of will power for Eli to convince himself not to burst into the office of Dr. Turner. Instead, he hastily twisted the door knob connected to the door labeled with Dr. Sanchez's name.
As he walked inside the office he instantly realized how similar this office was to Dr. Turners. The man behind the desk was not similar at all with his short, slicked-back hair and thick black mustache. He stood up and glanced questioningly at Eli before reaching for something on his desk. "I don't see a pizza, but I will give you a tip for how quickly you arrived." The man with the thick Latin accent walked from behind the desk and handed Eli a twenty dollar bill and patted him on the shoulder. "Do I look like the fucking pizza delivery boy? I don't have a pizza and I'm not wear a uniform, but thanks for the twenty." Eli slides the money in his pocket and plops on the teal couch that sits adjacent from Sanches' desk. "Well if you don't have a large double cheese and pepperoni pizza why are you in my office?" Dr. Sanchez takes a deep breath before taking his seat at his desk. "I'm Eli Weston my old doctor, Dr.Turner, sent me and I thought you should know who I am...Doc. " Eli motions at himself as he moves to a spread eagle position on the couch. He has both arms wrapped around the back and his legs are stretched open.
"Ah, I have your file right here Eli." Dr. Sanchez picks up the light yellow folder and lays it open in front of him. Sanchez then grabs his pen and begins to scribble on a page. As he writes he says nonchalant, "Obviously narcissistic with bipolar tendencies." Eli is initially caught off guard because he is not used to hearing what people actually think about him. First Eli thinks about punching him in the face, but then realizes that a fifty year old man is not worth the jail time. In a way the honesty is sort of refreshing, but Eli shrugs it all off.
"Listen, I'm the patient you're the doctor and we talk about stuff. I feel like talking so let's get this over with, Doc." Dr. Sanchez looks at Eli before he speaks,and he adjusts his bifocal glasses. "First off, my name is Doctor Sanchez. Secondly, if you need to talk make an appointment. Thirdly, I'm on my lunch break." Suddenly the door opened and girl wearing a bright red and yellow uniform with a large carry bag walks in. She promptly says the total of Dr. Sanchez's bill and sits the pizza on his desk and Eli rises from the couch to exit the office. Before Eli reaches the door Dr. Sanchez clears his throat and Eli turns to see what he wants. Dr. Sanchez simply gestures towards the delivery girl for Eli to pay and he does.
On the way out Eli stops at the front desk. The gray haired woman seemed surprised that Eli was actually waiting for her to finish a call, because he typically would not even sign himself into the facility. Eli was not much for formalities or rules of any kind. The woman's identification badge revealed that her name was Rachel Brand. "Can I help you, Mr. Westen?" Even after the countless harsh encounters Eli has subjected her to she was being awfully nice. "I need to schedule an appointment....," Mrs. Brand could tell that being polite was not natural for Eli.
"Alright, no problem. Dr. Sanchez had a cancellation that opened a spot up tomorrow. Is 8 a.m. okay with you?" Eli held in the urge to cuss this lady out. Questions surged through his head: 'Why the hell do I have to be here so early? Why can't I just come when I want? Why can't I just go back to Claire?' Eli already knows the answers to all of his questions so he does not actually ask them out loud.
The appointment is scheduled and Mrs. Brand slides Eli a card with his appointment date and time on it like he would forget in less than twenty four hours. Eli uncharacteristically apologizes and thanks Mrs. Brand who he has ignored and disrespected a countless amount of times. She smiles a sweet and understanding smile, because she knows the people she deals with on a daily basis need at least one forgiving and kind person in their life.
The next morning Eli barely makes it out of his bed and down the street to the doctors office before 8:30. This time he actually signs in at the front desk with Mrs. Brand who, in return, hands Eli a fresh cup of coffee. Almost immediately after Eli finishes the drink Mrs. Brand sends him back to Dr. Sanchez's office. Eli doesn't even glance towards Dr. Turners door.
Dr. Sanchez is sipping his own cup of coffee as Eli walks into the room. Eli nods and does not say anything as he makes himself comfortable on the familiar couch from yesterday. The only sound in the room for a few minutes is the constant paper shuffling on the doctors desk.
Finally, Dr. Sanchez finishes his organizing and gulps the rest of his coffee with a sigh of satisfaction. "Hello, Mr. Weeeesten." Dr. Sanchez elongates Eli's last name jokingly. Eli just rolls his eyes before replying. "My names Eli Westen. Not Weeeesten" Eli even tried his best to mimic the accent and exactly how Dr. Sanchez said the name.
Sanchez held his hands up in defeat with a chuckle. "Well...Mr. Westen. It's time for you to start talking now. That is what we're here for, right?" Eli raises his brows and nods his head in agreeance. "Obviously." The reply is simple and he continues. "You have my file. You know a lot about me, but I don't know what you know. So I'll just start with a couple weeks ago when I decided to get sober." Eli begins telling Dr. Sanchez the story at the bar where he was finally done with drugs and how his recovery started. Eli also reveals to Sanchez that Claire was the only one who had ever been there for him. Eli was honest and he told the doctor how Claire is the only one he has felt close to, and now he has been betrayed by her just like everyone else in his life.
"Now I feel like....Like the drugs are coming to get me. I can hear them whispering to me. They keep telling me I need them when I know I do not." As Eli finishes his story he lets his head hang in defeat. Dr. Sanchez clicks his pen and writes on his notepad. "May have slight schizophrenia," Sanchez says bluntly. Eli sucks his teeth as he stands and start to pace the room.
"Man, I'm serious. This isn't a joke."Dr. Sanchez lays his pen neatly on his desk, leans back into his chair and folds his arms over his chest. "I'm not joking Mr. Westen. Some people find the way I treat patients very unorthodox, but that might be exactly why you were sent over to me in the first place." Eli returns to the couch and presses his feet firmly to the ground while resting his elbows on his thighs and interlocking his fingers.
"You think you're a comedian, huh?" Eli rolled his eyes. Dr. Sanchez took his glasses off and rubbed his eyes "I dabbled a little in college. Look Mr. Westen I understand that you feel that Claire abandoned you like your parents. But she felt that she couldn't help you in the way needed" Eli rubbed his eyes and huffed "That's bullshit. I-I thought she cared." Dr.Sanchez scribbled a few words and crossed his legs "How do you feel about Dr.Tur- I'm sorry Claire?"
"Are you deaf or something? She's my therapist or used to be my therapist." He ran his hand through his hair shaking his leg, Dr. Sanchez shook his head and scribbled some more words down. " I don't think I'm deaf. Is it possible that when you two started spending time together you may have developed feelings for her. And when she referred you to a great therapist like me, you felt rejected and it made you feel like that little all those years ago." He looked up from his pages and Eli was still, his leg wasn't shaking anymore, he started laughing. "Me. Have feelings for her. You should have presumed that comedy career. No she nots my type."
"Why not? Is it because she is half black? Or is it because isn't the your type?" Dr.Sanchez cocked his head a little and laid his hand on his chin. Suddenly a ding came from the back of the room, Eli quickly stood up and exited the room. "1 point Sanchez"