I get called strong a lot. Not in a physical sense, but mentally. People say I can persevere, push through things, and shrug off insults. But I can't. I just pretend I can. It's a facade. I'm not strong. I'm a weak, scared boy soaking up everything and pretending it's nothing, then going home and crying over it all. Cutting, over it all. You see, that's what people don't understand. They think however you act in public is who you are. But that's just plain wrong. When people look at me, they see a energetic, funny, upbeat, strong person. What they don't see is the kid who has scars on his arm from cutting. Who slit his wrists trying to escape from it all. Who lost a close friend to suicide. A child who feels so alone that no one really makes contact with him. A boy who every night thinks about suicide. Then wakes up, and pretends to be happy for 12 hours. I'm not a strong person. I'm a liar. And one day, when the whole thing cracks and shatters, everyone will see me for who I was. But it'll be too late then. I'll already be dead. Because I'm just waiting for a tiny push off the ledge. Then, and only then, will everyone see the real me. And they will see how weak I truly am.
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