My Blooming Words

Future

See. I want to do 
what they want me to.
I want to satisfy them
and start my life a new.

I don't want to regret a bit
when they die.
I don't want to cry like a kid
when they say goodbye.
I want to smile
and be satisfied
that I did what they asked for.
I want to be proud
and hear their souls whisper to me
"You did great.
You did what I asked for."

Yet when my mind
travels the future,
the future where I'll 
speak to their grave,
tears arrive.

I try,
not to cry,
and I don't.
But I will,
when they die,
I am sure.

Even if I will have
nothing to regret,
I will not be satisfied.
I will not be proud.
At first place,
why do they even have to leave?
Why do they even have to die?
Why can't they stay with me forever?
Or why should I even stay alive?

I want to make them happy
but die before they do.
I know that's me being selfish,
but without my parents,
I don't see a path to walk into.