DustLust Magazine (male reader comedy.)

Episode 2 part 1 (in progress.)

Glynda took a deep breath as she walked in front of the door of Suko's room.

"Alright Glynda you can do this," Glynda whispered to herself. "you are a veteran huntress and one of the head professors at beacon, so this is easy...just ask him out to dinner."

Knock knock knock.

The is then opened by suko who was wearing nothing but a towel wrapped around his waist.

"Yes? Ah Ms Goodwitch how can Khajitt help you?"

Glynda opened her mouth but nothing came out.

"Ms goodwitch???" Suko Said confused.

"Ee...eee...." was Glynda could manage to let out, seeing suko nearly naked caused her nose to start bleeding.

"Glynda are you ill?" Suko asked becoming a bit concerned. "Blood is pouring from your nose."

Glynda tried to cover it then dashed to the nearest restroom.

Suko to a second to process what just happened and shook his head.

"Humans are so odd." He said as he closed the door.

Meanwhile...

M/n was picked up from another photo shoot by Samantha Hills and during the drive back to beacon m/n could tell Samantha was in a grumpy mood, she looked like she didn't get much sleep last night not to mention she was drinking a big cup of stardust coffee.

"Um thank you for picking me up Mrs. Hills." M/n said to break the awkard silence.

"Mm." She was all she gave as a response.

"Um ok...uh so we haven't been around each other much um so why don't we take the opportunity to know each other more for starters can you tell me what's your world like?"

"..."

"Um ok how about how you came across your pet deathclaw Lucy?"

"..."

"Ok then how about you tel-

"I Swear to god if you don't shut the fuck up im gonna make rabbit stew out of you." Samantha snapped.

"•.•"

"I'll stop talking now."

"Smart move." She said.

Suddenly a rude female driver cut off Samantha.

Samantha stopped her car and furiously honked her horn.

"WHAT THE FUCK?! WATCH WHERE YOUR GOING YOU STUPID BITCH!" She screamed out the window.

Then the driver responded by flipping Samantha off.

"OH FUCK NO!" Samantha unbuckled her seatbelt. "YOU DID NOT JUST FUCKING FLIP ME OFF!"

"Uh Mrs hills, I don't think you really need to get violent over this."

It was too late, Samantha was already at the woman's car window shouting some rather colorful vocabulary at her.

Then the woman popped Samantha's last nerve by spitting a loogie in her face.

Just as she started to take off Samantha grabbed the back end of the woman's car making her tires spin in place creating smoke, then flipped the car over and shouting one last FUCK YOU! to the woman before walking back to her own car.

Samantha got back into her seat trying to soothe her heavy breathing, then noticed m/n staring at her.

"WHAT?!" She yelled at him.

"Nothing" m/n squeaked quickly looking the other way.

Back at beacon...

Glynda was sitting at a lunch table with her head buried in her arms next to her was Sarah Gascoigne drinking some yharnam fashion tea while watching the news.

Lisa Lavender: we now go over to field reporter Sulphur who was just recently swallowed whole by a giant Grimm, what's it like in there Sulphur?

(Shows the giant Grimm sleeping.)

Sulphur: ITS DARK IN HERE!!!

Lisa Lavender: thank you Sulphur, and now sports.

"Glynda dear," Sarah said putting her hand on goodwitch's shoulder. "Are you quite alright."

"I'm pathetic!😫" Glynda cried.

"Oh Glynda don't say that everyone even the most professional of people have trouble with romance."

"I can't even ask out a anthropomorphic cat man."

"Oh my...that is quite pathetic." Sarah muttered to herself.

"Well dear life is full of learning curves so I am sure you will do better next time."

Samantha then sluggishly walked over to the table with a pack of vodka and popped a bottle open as she sat down.

".........what the hell are you staring at me for granny?" Samantha asked Sarah.

"Well Ms Hills I believe Ms Goodwitch has been having poor luck lately, perhaps she could use any dating advice you might have?"

"You pussied out in asking out the kitty man again didn't you?" Samantha said to Glynda.

"Well....yes." Glynda admitted in defeat.

Ruby then a walked over to the teachers and started tugging on Samantha's sleeve.

"*sigh* what do you want pipsqueak?"

"Mrs Hills I've heard a new word and I want to know what it means."

"What is it then?"

"WHAT IS SEX?"

Sarah gagged on her tea and dashed around the table.

"It's when a girl lets a guy stick his di-

At the last second Sarah covered Samantha's mouth before she could traumatize the poor child with a reckless choice of words.

"PERHAPS SAMANTHA IS NOT THE BEST PERSON TO ASK THAT QUESTION." She smiled nervously.

"But what does it mean?" Ruby whines wanting to know so badly.

"Perhaps it would be better to wait until tour of an older age Ms. Rose."

"Aww." Ruby groaned walking away dissapointed.

Samantha then tried to bite Sarah's hand, but Sarah pulled it away due to her hunter reflexes.

"Keep your hands to yourself next time alright granny?" Samantha said to the old priestess.

"Well I simply could not stand by and let you traumatize the poor child." Sarah scoffed.

"Granny she's like what 16? She should know this shit by now."

"It is not your choice to make Ms Hills." Sarah huffed. "Just like it wasn't your choice to punish me belladonna so brutally."

"Speaking of which I wonder what the walking talking litter box is doin now."

****

Yang walked into the dorm to check on Blake what's new Pussyless cat?

Blake who's crotch was still sore from Samantha's bullet of discipline, gave her teammate an angry eye twitch upon hearing yangs smart ass remark.

"I gotta say it's great having a vagina am I right Blake?" Yang smirked. "Oh wait that's right you don't have one anymore."

Blake threw her book at yangs face.

********