Come Back Home

Chapter Ten

           

-Liv's POV-

            I wasn't quite sure when Mikey and I started speaking less. We started off Facetiming every night, my nocturnal tendencies providing me with an advantage when timezones were thrown into the mix. But, at some point, I missed a call, and then he missed a call, and the irregularity of our talks became the new routine. The problem was, it was difficult on both of our ends. Mikey, of course, was touring another country. His days were filled with exploring new places, and his nights were busy with performances and meet and greets; A world that, for the first time, I wasn't a part of.

            There were times when it hurt – When my heart clenched as I thought about how far away he was. Sure, we'd been apart for quite some time now, but this was different. Two weeks felt more like two years knowing that there was an ocean separating us, that there was still so long before I'd be cuddled up against him again, our hearts close enough that their beats synced up.         

            There were times that I dreamed of dropping everything and surprising him there – Buying VIP for a show and sneaking up behind him, causing him to jump up in fear, clutching his chest like I'd given him a heart attack as he turned around, then watching his face transform into an expression of sheer and utter joy as he realized who it was. He'd kiss me quickly before remembering where we were and sneaking me backstage to make up for the time that we'd lost. I'd picture it so intently that I could almost feel the vibrations the music thumping under my feet as I had a front row view of watching him do what he loved. I imagined tearing up, seeing him on that massive stage, surrounded by people neither of us knew, but who sang along to all the words and cheered between sets, almost as thrilled as I was to be there, so close to them.

We'd stay up all night talking in hushed whispers so as not to disturb anyone else, catching each other up on everything that had happened when we'd been apart, his hands always on some part of me as he made sure that I was really there, that I wasn't leaving, his hands tangled up in my hair and his lips on my own as he breathed into me that he missed me so much, that he was so glad I'd come because he'd felt lost without me.

            But sometimes that dream bubble would burst, manipulated into a different direction as my fears took ahold. Because maybe his eyebrows would crinkle as he asked how I was there, and why, because he'd been doing just fine without me. Because he'd been having such a good time that he ceased to think of me at all. But I always tried to knock that paranoia away, reminding myself that I was busy, too – University was a lot more work than the pamphlets made it out to be.

            The good news was, I'd signed up for classes that allowed me to sleep in – But there was a big difference between 9:00 and noon, especially when I didn't fall asleep until 5am most nights. My morning routine was always kind of hectic, with Coral dragging me out of bed when my alarm clock (Another new addition to my life – I was ready to crush it into pieces by day two) didn't. The two of us always rushed through a morning routine of showering and throwing our hair into messy ponytails so we didn't have to brush it, yanking on pants and shirts and shoes (Minus that one time I made it halfway across campus before realizing that I was only in socks.)

            First period was always spent in a half-asleep daze. I'd heard that they didn't take attendance, so it you decided not to go, you wouldn't get in trouble for it – But I'd learned the hard way that skipping wasn't worth it. It just added more confusion and more homework to the pile, which easily erased the extra hour of sleep that you'd traded it in for.

            When the school day was over, I spent most of my free time with Coral and Josh, who, as I'd predicted, fit in with us like our missing puzzle piece. Together, we navigated adjusting to uni and our classes and coping with homesickness and how purely exhausting the whole thing was. Typically, it was difficult for me to find people that I clicked so well with, like I had with the boys, but despite that, I still needed time to wind down at the end of the day. Both the schoolwork and the socialization worked to take it out of me, and I always ended up sprawled out on my bed, luxuriating in the opportunity to talk or text with the people who felt like home to me – When Mikey was too busy, I chatted with my sister to fill the gap.

            Tonight, I really needed my boyfriend fix. He still sent me good morning message and updates throughout the day, but we hadn't called or FaceTimed for three, and I was feeling it. It would've driven me crazy by now if I didn't have so many distractions to help me from fixating and obsessing throughout the day. I let out a breath of relief as my phone rang, grinning and accepting the call before even checking to see who it was – Which is why it took me a moment to realize that it was Andy and not Mikey on the other side of the phone.

            "Hello? Can you see me? Is my connection good enough here?" Andy asked shifting as he measured my reaction. Blinking off the initial shock, I pushed it away, forcing the smile back onto my face. It wasn't that I was disappointed to see him, exactly, but my heart felt the betrayal of Mikey forgetting about me yet again.

            "No, you're good. How are you? How is everyone?" I asked, pointedly not mentioning Mikey directly.

            He saw right through me anyways, though, replying with "I'm alright, we all are. Mikey conked out, like, the moment we got back – I'm really sorry, I can wake him up if you want – But I wanted to check up on you anyways." And I honestly felt bad, watching him through the screen, feeling him wishing as hard as I was that Mikey would do better, try harder, even though, technically, he hadn't done anything wrong. I could feel Andy thinking that he wouldn't treat me that way even without him having to say anything. And it hurt because there wasn't anything either of us could do to change the way my heart felt.

            "No, no, that's okay. I bet it's gotta be tiring, all of that traveling around the country." I tried to be more understanding than I really felt. As if to prove my point, Andy yawned.

            "No kidding. But he could use a bit of your insomnia, yeah?" He gave me a little grin, letting on that it was a joke. "He really does miss you, though, you know. Like, genuinely, everything we see reminds him of you. Maybe it's best that you aren't here, because he'd be blabbing your ears off." He rolled his eyes, a throwback to our days threaded with plenty of PDA, unaware of just how much it hurt Andy to watch us being so lovesick.

            "Good for you, that is," I smirked, because, as we did with most bad things, we'd turned it into a joke – Our favorite coping mechanism. I watched him relax, leaning back on the pile of pillows that he'd arranged for himself.

            "Nooo," He protested, quirking his eyebrows up in the look that he practically had trademarked. "Anyways, how's the university life? Is studying more fun than studio dates?" And just like that, we relaxed into our usual banterous way of talking. Even with everything, he was still one of the people that I was the most comfortable with. Talking to him was natural and came easily. We had navigated through the thick and thin of puberty and growing up and figuring out ourselves and the world around us together. He was my best friend, and you didn't just lose a bond like that.

            Andy told me some stupid pun that hit just the right chord in my sleep-deprived self and made me laugh hysterically, despite the fact that the joke wasn't even a good one. My laughter set off his own, and our shared happiness made me feel like he was sitting right next to me instead of in a separate room, thousands of miles away.

            I missed Mikey, but if there was one person I couldn't live without, it was Andy.