Come Back Home

Chapter Two

-Mikey's POV-

Out of nowhere, I had developed a headache. Maybe it was allergies, or the music that we'd been blasting for the past few hours, or merely the fact that I knew this was the last time I'd be with Liv for a while. We left for America in three days, and then, for the first time she wouldn't be a simple train ride away. The thought that she would soon be an ocean away made my breath hitch in my throat. I tucked my knees in close to my chest, holding myself together as if to keep from breaking apart, as I looked around the room.

Once we got lunch and the tension had been broken, Coral and Liv had seemed to click instantly. They were together now, laughing – She would be happy here. She would probably be happy here. Hopefully.

I was lucky that I'd gotten the past year with her at all – After I'd come back into our hotel room in New York, balancing a tray of waffles with strawberries and whipped cream on top, a bottle of maple syrup, a cup of coffee (for me), and a cup of tea (for her), and found her not tucked into the blankets, all cozy warm, but, instead, on top of them, holding her phone close to her ear, I had thought that that was it. That it would be as simple as that – Within a few minutes, we'd go from talking about our future to not having one at all.

I'd been lucky, though. She'd gone out onto the balcony, still on her phone, and I'd sat there, feeling a little stranded. I'd let the waffles grow cold while I listened to my heart beat hard against my chest. With the way that the past two months had gone, a call that urgent could've meant any number of things, but I'd had a feeling, even then, that it'd had to do with Andy.

Eventually my muscles had grown stiff, and I'd gotten up to take a shower and shave. When I came out, Liv was still talking outside. I'd been contemplating what to do when she finally came back in, a soft but tired smile on her face, even though the day had only just begun. She'd leaned up to kiss me, but I'd still been tense, unsure of what had happened.

"What -" I began, but she'd cut me off with, "I'm going to university!"

"I thought that you didn't have the money?" And although my heart had calmed down, it began to race again then, convinced that I was losing her.

"I do now." She looked down, then back up again. "Andy got it for me. I don't know how." She searched my face. "You're happy for me, right?" Too much of this didn't make any sense.

"I don't understand -" I began to pace, but she'd grabbed my arm and pulled me back down to her and then told me everything, because she'd never been very good at keeping secrets – At least, not from me. At first, I didn't know how to feel – I went from anger, to sorrow, to empathy, and then I was just numb, all in the timeframe of about ten minutes.

"I guess you want to go home, then?" I'd mumbled, clutching the soft hotel blanket in my hand and focusing on remembering on how to breathe.

"No." She'd said. "Mikey, I don't know what's going to happen, but I love you. I love you." But ever since then, I'd found it difficult to believe that she was all mine.

She didn't end up going to uni right away – She took the gap year because she'd gotten the money too late for her to apply. We always met up at least once a week, since she couldn't live with us anymore, for obvious reasons. Sometimes we'd go on dates – Like, once we went mini golfing. I hit a hole in one, and she hit a golf ball so hard that it went flying and nearly hit an old man in the head – We left soon after that and went to get milkshakes instead.

Other times we'd hang out at her place – I got to know her mum and sister a lot better, and once, I took care of her when she was ill, only to get it myself a few days later. She'd even travel places with us, like when we performed in Amsterdam and Paris, so she never felt too far away, although the paranoia would strike whenever she'd be on the phone with Andy – She rarely made the trip down to Slough, and whether it was for me or her, I wasn't quite sure.

It struck me again now, as she leaned into him, her head resting perfectly onto his chest, and it made my insides feel as if they were going to explode. I slipped out of the room silently, figuring that my absence wouldn't be noticed in the party-like atmosphere, and broke into a light trot as I navigated my way out of the dorm rooms. The campus was gorgeous, but even more beautiful than the scenery was the air. I needed it desperately, and I took great joy in filling my lungs with it. I felt so clean, and I wondered if it could purify me from the inside out.

For a moment, it was just me and the air, but I wasn't alone for long. A pair of slender arms wrapped themselves around me, and a small head rested itself on my shoulder.

"I didn't think you'd notice," I said – Less to her and more to the air around us.

"Of course I did," She replied, and, I could be wrong, but I sense a touch of sadness within her voice.

In all of the months that we had been planning, it had all felt so distant – Like, yes, someday it would come, but not for a long time, so it didn't really matter. It was only now that it really, truly hit me. I focused on how it felt to have her arms around me, because I knew just how quickly the memory of such things faded.

In a few weeks, I wouldn't remember what touching her felt like, or the sensation of feeling her breath on my skin, our inhales and exhales aligning. I told myself that I wouldn't cry, but she let go and went around to get a proper hug and her cheeks were wet, and, as I reached out to hold her, mine became slick as well. We stood there for a long time, just like that, syncing up our breathing for one last time.

I didn't want to let go.