With Memories, We Forget

Chapter 6

Trigger warning

Lukas bit his lip staring at his reflection in the mirror as fingers twirled around the counter. "Matthias-" his voice came out as raspy as legs started to lock "-Kohler doesn't ha-" his voice stopped and his body slowly slipped to the floor. "Matthias Kohler hates me."

Matthias walked back into the home quietly however it didn't make the situation any better. Both of them were driving him absolutely crazy with no explanation. Why! And why was it him always defending them, protecting them. They got their independence they could do it themselves surely. The lids to his eyes clenched but soften remembering Emil when he was younger telling him all these stories after his meetings and Lukas doing his small smile. Then yelling at him for waking Emil up.

That's why he bothered, because he knew those moments while no one else did. No one else cared to remember those moments. It wasn't like Emil could remember all those details given his age, and Lukas. After sweden it was if he forgot everything.

On his journey to his room he grimaced as the bag of pastries crinkled. He knew he would wake someone up. He scanned under the doors of the halls. Black, night light, night light, black, black, computer screen, on. Matthias cursed under his breath. Of course he was up, unless he fell asleep reading.

That was wrong, he knew that. Lukas has been, off all week and got into a silent feud with Emil and then he freaked out. There was no way he was asleep. "Norge? You still up?"

He waited several minutes and got no reply. The chance of even getting one would be slim. "If you want to we could watch a movie, you know where to find me."

As he passed he tapped open the teens door, who didn't even notice. "Emil?" The boy turned from the screen "Yeah?"

"Everything okay?"

He nodded "That's it? Just a second Leon."

Matthias nodded and left the room to his own and flopped onto the mattress. Soon He'd have to go for meetings but all he could hope for was his family to be okay before then. That seemed impossible however in the current moment and he had to wonder how not okay those two were.

What even could be so wrong?At least Lukas was doing better and Emil got over it quickly. He huffed, they were miserable and Matthias was used to them depending on him. Why couldn't they just go back to that. To the long nights by a fire as it snowed or even the nights they locked him out and he'd sneak in and scare them. Well, those nights ended with some sort of issue involving Emil crying and Lukas threatening to curse him, Unless of course it was that one time Emil helped him get at Lukas. Slowly he thought farther and farther back to the four sailing, finding new lands to name. All of it. All of it was all so long ago.

Shimmering rays from the jasper sun shone through dew warped windows. Four sat smiling with tints of smiles and a side of laughter. Two others soon made their appearances. Slowly their hard demeanor fell away as if nothing happened but a night prior.

Ash hair twirled around as the clock chimed another hour passed followed by the crape of the wood chair on the floor. "I'm going to check on him."

Five heads of blonde hair nodded followed by another with a strong red tinge. He marched pass the rooms as soon as he climbed the chairs. When he got to the door he was looking for he lightly tapped it with his knuckle. "Lukas?"

No reply.

"Lukas come on."

Emil attempted to turn the knob but it being locked made it impossible. Why was he so silent? "Lukas! Come on!"

He huffed trying to think what would get him to at least unlock the door. "Big brother, can you let me in?"

The teenager waited. That always worked in the past, what was wrong. "Lukas? Lukas!"

By now he was scared. He'd at least would answer, right? Emil ran down the stairs "The doors locked and he's not replying to anything and what if somethings wrong and he's having a break down about everything and-"

"Calm down Emil. I'll go check." smiled Tino going upstairs which Emil followed.

He watched as the other picked the lock and when The finnish male pulled away Emil ran in, noticing no sign of his brother even sleeping in the bed. "Big brother?"

Violet eyes connected to the bathroom light blazing beneath the other door which he rushed to open. "Big brother?" Within the room he noticed his brother squeezing his knees. Slowly he made his way and knelt beside him unable to keep enough air in his lungs. Was there ever a time Lukas was like this? Not that he knew of.

Wide, empty eyes stared back at him with quivering lips. "Lukas! Oh dear!" Tino gasped "Matthias! Berwald!"

Emil wrapped an arm around him rubbing his back. "Big brother. What's going on?"

"Head hurts. Advil didn't work. It needs to work. Anything needs to work." HIs eyes started to tear "It hurts."

He stared lost. Was the memories that bad for Lukas? Denmark bent beside them now frowning. Just wanting a clue what to do. Lukas scooted farther from the taller as tears began to fall. "Don't hate me. I'm sorry, I really am sorry Matthias."

"For what?"

"I broke our promise. You hate me, and I deserve it. It's broken and no one can think correctly. I'm sorry."

The dane stared wide eyed and looked to the others implying leave now. Emil hesitated but with a small nudge he got up and left. As soon as they shut the door he moved beside him wrapping an arm around the other and lightly dragging them closer.

"Lukas Bondevik, I'll never, could never hate you."

The other looked away with odd tears still falling. "Hej, look at me."

One of his hands turned his chin "I said look at me. Do you understand I, don't hate you."

Slowly he nodded before clinging to him and crying out apologise leaving the other to simply hold him protectively. Just like all those years before.

Emil bit his lip as he sat at the table. "Peter, what's Arthur's number? It's an emergency."