What We Leave Behind

1. Hiraeth

~One thousand eight hundred twenty five days later

The warm afternoon wind brushed against my skin as I exit the hospital.

I was about to take a step further, but a sudden realization stopped me from moving forward.

"I came out of the hospital," I murmured to myself. I looked back to where I came from, trying to make sure that I am right.

The silver 'St. Therese Medical Center' etched on the top of the door confirmed what I have been doubting. Confusion flooded in my head.

Medical Center. What am I doing here? Why am I here? Did I come from work?

I scanned my clothes, only to find out that I am wearing casual red t-shirt, faded jeans and a pair of converse, not my usual white uniform. That's when it hit me.

I don't work at a hospital. I am working at a private free-standing laboratory.

I scanned the entire area. No. I've never been here before.

I clasped a handful of my hair forcefully. What the hell is happening?

My heart started to beat faster than it is supposed to as panic started to rise. My lungs started to demand more oxygen as the feeling of running out of air started to sink in. Tears blurred my sight, and my feet started to feel weaker than it should be. I fought the urge to sink to the floor.

Kiel. My husband. I have to go home. Maybe things will be clearer. Maybe he'll know what's happening.

I called the taxi passing by and hastily got in. "Manong, Capitol Heights po please," I requested.

He looked at me quizzically, brows furrowed. "Iha, medyo malayo yun."

"I'll pay," I replied.

He let out a sigh, then started driving.

I didn't understand his point, until an hour later, we're not still there, and another hour passed before we finally arrive. Without minding the change, I gave him two thousand pesos and got out of the taxi.

I let out a sigh of relief. I am home.

I fished the keys out of my bag as I slowly walk towards the gate. Luckily, it was not locked, so I did not bother to use the keys I have.

My brows furrowed as I scan the frontyard. The flowers I planted are gone. Did they die? But they were there... I watered them yesterday.

I shook the confusion off of my head. Maybe I was busy these past few days, so I didn't have time to take good care of them. Yes. That's it. That's the reason.

I took a deep breath in as I started to walk towards the main door. I inserted the key into the knob, frustration welled inside me when the knob did not turn. I fumbled through the keys I have in my hand when suddenly, the door opened.

"Pizza's here daddy!" a little girl exclaimed, facing the inside of the house. She slowly turned to face me, her brows furrowed in confusion. "Where's the pizza?"

I looked at her quizzically. What pizza? Who is she? 'Daddy'?

Daddy.

"Where is it, baby?" he chimed in while wiping the back of his hands on his shorts.

Our eyes met. His eyes momentarily widened in surprise, and I watched it as it slowly become devoid of any emotions. I felt its indifference shoot daggers into my chest.