Silenced | satzu

18

Five Words

T Z U Y U

I walked around without really a destination in mind, while Sana Unnie just quietly followed me.

After about five minutes, I stopped and faced her. "Sana Unnie, before the game starts.. I want you to know that I'll always be here for you."

"T-Tzuyu-yah.."

"In this game, I'll make sure that you'll win.. because I already won everything in the arcade. It all comes down to this one, so make sure to win it, okay?" I smiled at her.

But she couldn't even look at me straight in the eye. She was trying not to cry and I could see it all over her face.

We're both in denial with the situation.

I couldn't bear to see her like this anymore, so I better get this started.

I looked for a post and brought her there. "Here, Sana Unnie. W-We're playing a very.. very childish.. game."

While speaking, my voice suddenly broke. I was shaking. I can't end up falling apart first.. I'm not usually like this, but why?

I tried to muster up my courage and continue. "H-How about hide and seek, Sana Unnie?"

But right after I said that, she suddenly hugged me tight and broke down in tears. "T-Tzuyu-yah.. can't you please just stay for me?"

And with that, I ended up crying with her. I wanted to stay, but it's already too late for the both of us. Everything is already prepared and my parents are expecting me to come with them.

"Unnie.. please just do as I say," I insisted while trying to regain my composure. "I-I promise, you'll win this time."

I slowly pulled away from her, but all I could see was how she cried because of me.

She held my hand again for the last time. "Tzuyu-yah.. how long will you be gone?"

"The roses," I said while looking at her shopping bag where the flowers are placed. "That's what they symbolize, Unnie.."

"Huh?" She gave me a confused look. "W-What do they mean? These five roses with me.."

Even though it pains me, I had to do what I needed to. I slowly removed her hand from mine as I smiled.

"I will be back soon."

She forced a smile, but I could still see how sad she was. "Tzuyu-yah, I.. I have five words for you too."

"W-What is it, Unnie?"

Then she suddenly pulled me closer and kissed my cheek.

"I will wait for you."

And just like my first impression of her, she's someone who's very.. very consistent. It will surely leave an empty space.

I gave her a sad look before carefully asking. "If that's the case.. then can we start playing now, Sana Unnie?"

Tears started falling from her eyes again, but this time, she accepted my offer. "I'll do it in one condition.."

She took out a handkerchief from her bag and tried handing it over to me. "Tie this around my eyes."

..What?

I looked at her in surprise. "U-Unnie.. we don't need to go this far.."

I couldn't grasp the situation. Why is she doing this?

This will surely pain us even more and I don't want to add more damage to what I've done.

She was really devastated when she looked at me. "I-I might be afraid to see you walk away.."

"Sana Unnie.."

"Let's just do it Tzuyu-yah, I-I don't want you to be late.." she said while still trying to give me her handkerchief. "Make sure to introduce me to your parents in the best way possible, alright? I-I'm sure I didn't give your Mom a good one."

I nodded and finally accepted her handkerchief as my tears continuously fell.

I have no idea why we have to go through this, but one thing is for sure.. Being with her is something that I'll never forget.

She closed her eyes as I carefully tied the handkerchief around it.

I can't leave her like this.. but I don't have a choice either. I'm just stuck in between, lonely and frustrated all by myself.

"Sana Unnie.. will you count me up to ten?"

"I-I will, Tzuyu-yah.. I will," she tried wiping her tears even though it's not stopping. "O-One.. two.. three--"

I kissed her forehead before pulling her into a tight hug.. one last time. "I never had a boyfriend that time, Unnie. It was only you.. right from the start until the end. It was you. I thought it would be better to stop all of this from happening, but I've made a choice now.. and that is to fight for you."

"H-Huh? Tzuyu-yah.."

"That's why.." I said as I slowly pulled away from her. "P-Please wait for me, Sana Unnie. Because I will come back for you."

She was about to remove her handkerchief, but I immediately stopped her. "P-Please continue counting.."

"T-Tzuyu..yah."

Because she cried so much, she ended up losing her voice. I tried my best to make her feel that everything is going to be alright.. but I'm not sure if it's ever going to be enough.

"Being able to tell you all of this is more than enough for me, Sana Unnie.. the fact that I was able to be with you and say the things I couldn't before.. that's the most important thing for me," I wiped her tears as I tried hard not to cry again. "I'm no longer silenced this time, Sana Unnie.. and I'll make sure to love you even more."

"Tzuyu-yah.."

"W-What number are we now, Unnie?"

She could only lower her head as she tirelessly cried.

"F-Four.. five.."

I looked at her one last time, full of unbearable pain and sadness, before I finally walked away.

Goodbye for now, Sana Unnie. Nothing will change as long as you'll still love me the next time that I come around. Please wait for me patiently.. and welcome me like you always do.

To be continued..