Everything Wrong with: The Many Faces of Har... er, Adira Potter

Chapter Three: Flamel and Murphy and Norbert and Voldy

Note two: I know this chapter follows the canon material a lot, I'm sorry for that, but I did try to avoid it. It gets better, I promise.

No it doesn't. I've seen how much canon text this author uses in the later chapters. *Ding!*

During one particularly muddy practice, the Weasley twins messing about got Wood angry, and in his anger he revealed that Snape was refereeing their match with Hufflepuff, which was ominous. Of course, Iliana rushed back as soon as she could to tell Ron and Hermione about his sinister new desire to be a referee. She found Ron trouncing Hermione at chess, and though he had been concentrating on his next move, Ron caught onto Iliana's mood and let her speak.

Even when it isn't canon dialog, quite a lot of it is just describing the same events in a rather haphazard way. *Ding!*

Just then, Neville came in, hopping, from having been leg-locked by Malfoy. Since she liked Neville, she helped him with the countercurse and also tried to improve his self-esteem. Hermione and Ron joined in.

In the books it was Hermione who performed the countercurse. But it's important for Iliana to do it because this author wants to make their OCs look good. *Ding!*

Iliana grabbed a Chocolate Frog from her robes and gave it to him. "You're worth twelve of Malfoy, Neville. The Sorting Hat put you here, didn't it?"

"Yeah, and where's Malfoy?" Ron asked. "Stinking Slytherin, that's where."

"Ron, don't be prejudiced. Slytherin isn't all evil," Iliana chided. "And not all dark wizards were in Slytherin. Anyway, Neville, the fact you're in Griffindor means you ARE brave. Being brave isn't about being unafraid, it's about facing your fear."

Whenever someone is says something clever or insightful, like this, it's usually done in addition to the canon dialog. And it almost always comes from one of the Harrys. Because this author wants to make their OCs look good. *Ding!*

"Here, on Dumbledore's card. We told you we'd read the name somewhere before, Harry read it on the train coming here — listen to this: 'Dumbledore is particularly famous for his defeat of the Dark wizard Grindelwald in 1945, for the discovery of the twelve uses of dragon's blood, and his work on alchemy with his partner, Nicolas Flamel'!"

Y'know, considering how important Flamel is (Dumbledore is famous for merely having worked with the guy), we sure don't hear about him after the first book. *Ding!*

(And yeah, this is more of a sin for Rowling. But if you copy her text word for word, you inherit the sins of the source text too.)

"Well that's a relief. I just wish we'd known earlier. No idea how to switch back, and I can't imagine Zoey would be any help."

Iliana? You in there at all?

Yes, I am.

Do you think you can take control, even if we can't switch?

Yes, I think so.

"Well Iliana says she can take control, even though we're in this form. I just hope it works."

So, let me get this straight. The Harrys can't control which one of them they're transformed into at any given time, and only one is good at quidditch. But Iliana can just take control of whoever's body it is, so it never actually affects their quidditch game. Great! *Ding!*