ONE CHANCE

Chapter 24

I couldn’t bear the sad expression that covered his face so I walked away. I walked away fighting back the tears threatening to fall. I kept walking; I wanted to be as far away as possible, I can look past it because I know he isn’t the person he is when he was high that night.

I keep walking.

And I somehow end up here at Emily’s grave. Her picture stares back at me and I let tears fall. He didn’t mean to let her die; it’s something he would never have wanted.

I fall to my knees and cry. The truth is just too much now. Him loving me being one of them. How can you love a man back that is full of dark secrets?

The answer is you can’t. You can’t love someone that has made the worst mistakes possible because every time you look at them you’ll see every mistake, every wrong thing they’ve done in the reflection of their eyes. Your own creation of the images that had taken place a year ago playing in theirs, staring back at you.

That’s all I could see when he stared back at me. I didn’t see his brown orbs this time, only the cruel things that happened to Emily on July 23 2013.

So how can you love a man that is full of dark secrets and made the worst mistakes you can think of

Logical answer is that you can’t.

The truthful answer is that I can.

But I am scared. All the things I will be getting myself into if I tell him, if I become one of them, I’ll be somebody different or maybe I’ll be the real me.

I cry more with the confusion that is flooding my head. My fingers lightly graze over Emily’s photo as my tears fall. I feel like I knew her somehow maybe because we were someway alike. I begin to sob thinking of how scared she would’ve been while five men raped her then suffocated her. She didn’t deserve that. She deserved to be alive; she was supposed to love Bryce. She was supposed to be here.

I can’t stop the tears from falling but I suddenly feel a pair of arms wrap around my body. With my blurry vision I can’t make out whose pair of arms it is.

“It’s okay sweetheart.” Her voice is soft rather than sarcastic.  Just by the nickname I know who it is. What is she doing here?

“Amy?” I turn to look at her and she smiles a small one.

“Sad isn’t it?” She whispers as she sits beside me. Her fingers also lightly grazing over Emily’s photo. I watch her intently as she withdraws her hand from the photo frame.

“Yeah.” I say. “How did you cope?”

“I didn’t,” She admits and I never thought I’d live to see the day Amy Shay be truthful and serious about something. “It was like losing my parents all over again. For years I had no one, I had my boyfriend of course but not a best friend and when Emily came she just made me so happy you know? She was like the sister destiny forgot to give me.”

My heartbreaks at her use of words, it feels weird seeing her so fragile and I feel for her. I feel for all of them.

“She was someone I didn’t have to pretend to be tough around. We were always laughing and having fun but then just like she was ripped away from me.” Her voice cracking by the end and I place my hand on the back of hers. She tenses but her thumb eventually overlaps onto my hand and caresses it. I smile knowing she isn’t shutting me out. She’s letting me in…. finally.

“Why weren’t Damien and the guys put away for what they did?” I ask hesitantly. The thought didn’t cross my mind till now.

“Damien’s father is the chief of police so they came up with some amazing, convincing enough story to make everyone believe what happened to Emily was an accident when every minute of it was intentional.” Her voice is laced with anger and I don’t blame her.