the roommates

Unanswered questions

*Ok so you might be confused, and Ima be straight with you, you only get to know this from Charlies point of view, so don't hate Alex for what you find out, he doesn't deserve that, it's not his fault.

- K*

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Two days, two days! That's how long they've been gone, Alex and Kelly haven't been in contact afters Alex text me, I'm worried and confused, how could they know Paudie, and what do they have agents him, they bout looked terrified, Kelly had a look in her eyes I've never seen before and it worries me, Alex looked bout broken and guilty looking at her before he ran off, I've known them for three years, how do I not know what would provoke that reaction in bout of them, do they not trust me, am I not a good person?

I curl into Sandy, worry and guilt flooding my senses, he rubs my back "hey, hey Comedian, give us a smile, I'm sure their fine. Charlie whatever it is I'm sure they can handle it themselves" I shake my head, "no Sandy, you don't know them the way I do, Alex is cautious and is hard to read unless he wants you to see his emotions, he looked broken, he looked like he was re-living something, I just don't know what, and Kelly, well you know her a little, she's all smiles, she's open to everyone and I swear you could stab her and she'd forgive you eventually, but Sandy, she looked at you with so much pain and hatred, maybe not for you but somethings going on there. I'm going over to them," I stand, and Sandy goes to follow, "alone!" I leave and make my way over cheeking my phone every other step for a text from either, there's none.

Once I reach floor 3 door 69 I knock, waiting for an answer that doesn't come, I knock again, again no answer, and so it goes for ten minutes or more. I knock again half-heartedly and turn to leave, but suddenly the door swings open to reveal a sleepy Alex, who seems to have lost his t-shirt, a fact that should be normal but instead I'm blushing, or was until I notice white marks littering his body and a tattoo saying 12. I scrunch my eyebrows as he leans agents the doorframe and askes "hey, what are you doing here?" I continue looking at him questioning the marks until he turns and walks away, I follow. Kelly's rapped up on the couch with a cup of hot chocolate and biscuits on her lap "hey Charlie, how are you?" she's smiling but you can tell it's not her real smile, Kelly's usually so easy to read, but now I don't recognize her. Alex walks back in, now wearing a t-shirt, he looks at me and goes to sit next to Kelly again, bout of them are being very silent "I'm doing Ok, how are you guys?" I try to be casual, but Alex raises an eyebrow and I can tell he knows what I'm asking, Kelly smiles again "oh we're fine, just hanging out for a while." Alex is staring at the T.V with intense interest, I nudge him and smile "how about you?" he just shrugs, Kelly offers me a small smile, I'm so confused "ok, so clearly I didn't know you as well as I thought but am I not you friend, you can trust me." Alex rolls his eyes "Charlie, this isn't about you low self-esteem, this is for me and Kelly, you're not part of it and you don't want to be!" he stands and walks away, I go to follow him but Kelly holds me where I am and simply shakes her head, "his right Charlie, this is our baggage, and you really don't want to be involved," She sighs "also, stay away from Sandy and never, ever go near Paudie! I don't care how you know them or how in love with him you may be, their bout bad news!" she's staring me dead in the eyes almost begging, but I can't do that, "sorry Kelly, I don't know your story, or how you know Paudie but their my cousins, you have them wrong, their good people," I know Sandy, I know them bout, Kelly moves away from me "y-you're cousins?" she looks afraid of me now, not terrified but she's not touching me, she still holds warmth in her eyes but it's been dimed, I nod "yeah, and you know me so they can't be that bad can they?" Kelly shakes her head, I go to defend the again when I hear Alex scoff "sure, sure Charlie his not that bad, me and Kelly don't still wake up in the middle of the night with images of then, wake up still there, his cold eyes staring at us telling us it was for the best, and Charlie THOSE are the nights we fall asleep, it's not like we never got a chance to grow up, it's not like I- it's not like I was forced to- to-" his voice breaks, "it's not like that at all, we have the only life we ever knew until three years ago wrong, our eyes deceived us Charlie, we're wrong not the girl who knows nothing but what she's shown or told!" he glares at me with more rage then I've ever seen in anyone before, but behind it is something much worse, his broken, I can see it and he can't hid it. "Charlie, the world isn't rainbows and daisies and the person you know isn't who he is, I don't care weather your cousins or not." He sighs, just sighs, no glare anymore, no anger, his given up and I can't bare it, before I know what's happening I have him in my arms and when I catch up with my body I only hold tighter, I won't let him go, not now, not ever.

After that Kelly kinda jumped on us and we just sit on the floor, hugging for who knows how long, Kelly and Alex spill tears but I don't care because they're here, away from whatever caused them to act like this, whatever caused the marks along Alex's torso, they're broken and battered but they were away and can heal, slowly, but eventually. Right now I don't need to know what happened, I just need the find their smiles again, I need my roommate back, I need to see that barely noticeable smile and blush, I need to see those grey eyes light up when a thought pops into their head, I want to see that smirk, those anxious habits, the way he sways from side to side when he has something he wants to say but doesn't know how to bring up– when on earth did I notice that kind of stuff, well who cares all I mean is I want them bout to be happy again.

We end up watching movies for the rest of the day, all snuggled and covered in blankets, its nice. I hum slightly as I stroke Alex's hair, his heads on my lap, his legs curled into his chest, he looks like a child, Kelly walks in with a bowl of popcorn (it was our third but shh) and just gives me a knowing smile that Alex can't see, I just don't know what she knows. Kelly sits down and Alex turns his head up to face he and they share a smile, its sweet, then Kelly stuffs her face with popcorn and their moment was ruined. As the movie continues to play I find myself instead watching Alex's face and reactions instead of reacting for myself, whenever he looks at me we share a smile, its nothing big but its sincere and every upturn of his lips makes my heart flutter and head swirl, I swear I'm falling for him... wait, go back scratch that, what, no, Alex is like family and clearly now's not the time, it's not like I want to kiss him and hug him... damnit.

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*hey again, see that wasn't so bad, Alex wasn't a complete asshole, in truth I thought you'd learn more and then I'd be saying different but it's fine.

Also, Charlie and Alex fell asleep on that couch and woke up literally spooning and you didn't hear this from me but Alex is a little spoon

-K*