HypoFaker

Chapter 3: Get A Grip

One soft stroke downwards and one harder one to the left. The shading has to be perfect as well. This has to be perfect.

Drawing was one of my favorite activities. Flowers, food, people and wildlife. You name it, I loved to put so much energy and effort into it. The finishing product was what made me most excited. Or disappointed.

It was one of my favorite activities.

That was four months ago.

Four months ago when I finally lost my sight. Four and a half months ago when my eye doctor warned me. Four months ago when I had my final vision.

So long ago.

I can no longer see. Well, don't get me wrong, I can see, but only a practically microscopic blur. All around it is a foggy, fuzzy, black blur. Nothingness. Unusual emptiness.

It's funny, they say your senses are heightened when you lose one. Well, that isn't true.

They aren't heightened, I just find myself paying more attention to them.
I can smell a little better. But you would expect me to have a heightened sense of touch, right?

Well I do, I can tell textures from textures. But it is not all that amazing if I'm being honest. I'm just like you. Just no longer capable of sight.

So don't try to deceive me or treat me differently.

My cat, does however love me just a bit more. She appears to try to be around me more. Like she understands what happened. Almost like her mushy head knows just how to be a mother to the blind. And if I'm being honest, it's both annoying and adorable.

After I was told my sight would be stolen, which it was, my symptoms of halos, rainbows, headaches, and nausea continued. I always felt I was going to pass out.

I was uneasy, and for this long while, my mom appeared to work later hours more.

Was it to not deal with me?

Either way, I was asked what I wanted to view the most before my vision was eaten up. I simply told them nothing and began to paint. This was the first time, but I thought I would just use up my supplies.

Finally my vision was gone. I was in the hospital, and it was sickening. I broke out into cold sweats quite often, and grew dizzier. They gave me ibuprofen for my headaches, left me to sleep, and checked up on me often.

Both them and I knew there was no escaping this fate.

My father stayed beside my bed some days, watching the television. But some days he wasn't there. It was surely odd.

During the first month of me being blind, I stayed cooped up in my room, isolated. This was how I wanted it to be. Staying in my room alone, sleeping and eating. They hadn't gotten me updated on the technology for my condition so when I would reach for my phone blindly, I stopped myself.

I stayed in my bed a lot. Of sitting at my desk, but I felt better with a blanket around me. It was mostly a blur, being blind for the first time.

I was given a new white cane, one of the "high tech" ones that can sense up to nine feet ahead and uses vibrations to let me know.

This cane was my buddy for the first two to four weeks. Then I just let it go.

I simply used my memory to navigate the house, and when my mom offered help down the stairs, I would always decline.