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Junmyeon only woke up two days after Seungwan left , he was feeling groggy and numb in the legs , the first person his eyes caught wasn't the person he was hoping for , it was Minseok .

Minseok gave him a brotherly smile , glad he had finally woke , his medical condition not being so bad .

"Where is Seungwan?" it was the first thing he asked when his eyes met Minseok's 

Minseok tensed , lowering his gaze away from junmyeon , he wasn't sure what to tell him.

"She is gone " Jongin said 

"Where?" Junmyeon's eyes widened attempting to sit up only to avail , his side wasn't helping him , he winced trying to sit up properly once again , Jongdae giving him a hand , adjusting his bed and pillow for him.

"We don't know where " Jongdae shrugged after taking a seat on the armchair across from his brother's bed .

"What do you mean you don't know ?" Junmyeon's tone changed , snapping .

"She just disappeared after she got discharged of the hospital " Minseok explained .

"Discharged ? is she okay ? what happened ?" 

"Your kidney was damaged so she gave you hers " Jongin said 

"What do you mean she gave me hers ? why did you let her ?" he turned furious at Minseok 

"She volunteered , she was the only one with a compatible kidney and you needed a transplant as soon as possible " Minseok stood up sternly glaring at Junmyeon " Are you dumb? instead of thinking about thanking her , you are blaming me for not stopping her ? who the fuck made her love you ha? me ? you fucking dumbass now she is gone because of your stupid plan , i hope you are happy " Minseok hissed and walked to the door .

"She left you a letter , it's on your nightstand " he snarled before leaving the room.

Minseok wanted to blame his brother , he shouldn't have gotten Seungwan into all this in the first place , he shouldn't have came to the bar the first day , he should have came straight to the house , Minseok wanted his friend back , he wanted seungwan back desperately but not as much as junmyeon wanted her back .

Jongin and Jongdae left the room a while after deciding to let im rest .

Junmyeon stretched his hand to the letter  feeling his abdomen stretch along , a wave of pain shooting at his side , grabbing the letter , he flinged the paper open his heart sinking as he started reading .

I wish you well , i wish you everything good , but not me , i am so bad at keeping up with you , it's never what i planned for , it's not how i want to live , with you in danger every second you take a breath , i am sorry, am so sorry  because i'd like to believe that i loved you too at some point, don't think of me and i won't as well and don't look for me , because you will never find me,  i am grateful because you made my heart beat again but for as that , i tell you goodbye. 

                                                                                                                                        -seungwan


It enraged him , it numbed his mind , it angered him to the point he wanted to rip the hospital gown and find her , wherever she is , he crushed the piece of paper in his hand and threw it to the wall furious at her , his breaths and pulse quickening , he threw his head to the back feeling like crying over the thought that the woman he had ever wanted had left him .

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