Damaged

-chapter 3-

I just want her back in my arms..I wish she was back in them. I don't think she's coming back to me and if she does decide to things won't be right. I know they won't ya know? My love will never change or falter but how could she? How do you leave the person whose giving you pieces of the world on a gold platter? 'sigh' I don't think anyone will ever know or understand why someone leaves them, manipulates them, or just do them dirty. I wish I did.

To continue on, I arrived to school around 8:30-8:45. Traffic was terrible, it was Monday so I don't know why I would expect anything less. The minute I arrived to school and sat down in class I received the worst message ever , my lover 💕🤞🏾: I won't be home when you get here. There's a note for you on the counter. I love you Elyza, don't go looking for me because you won't find me unless I wanna be found. Be safe kid. I just didn't understand what was going on. I literally just left our place and yes I felt something was wrong but I didn't expect it to be something of this caliber. I never thought in a million years she would leave me and then tell me over a text message. What did I do? Is there something wrong with me? Am I not wifey material? WHAT IS IT?! I just need to go home because I don't want her to leave. I pray to God she hasn't left yet. I hopped into my car and raced back across town. I didn't give a shit about missing classes this day..the love of my life could possibly be walking out of my life and never coming back. At this point I'm zigzagging all through traffic damn near getting in 5 accidents on my way to her. I finally pull up to our building and I twist the nob to see if it's locked or not because I know I locked it before I left. The door was unlocked.. I opened the door and everything of hers was gone. She's gone...God...how could she? Was it my fault??? What happened? At this point I feel my heart breaking inside of my chest and I let out whatever sobs I didn't realize I was holding in. I CAN'T FUCKING BELIEVE THIS! HOW COULD SHE?! SHE LOOKED ME IN MY EYES AND DIDN'T SAY A FUCKING THING TO ME! SHE KNEW! She fucking knew.. I'm not sure what to feel. It's a mixture between betrayal, confusion, hurt, numbness, and pain. I was really thinking that I found my little piece of heaven on Earth. Maybe I can try calling her..she'll answer right? So I did what any person would do when they hurt like this or just wanna know why. I called her. Straight to voicemail..I'm not sure why i expected anything different she told me not to go looking for her because she obviously doesn't wanna be found. As I walk around our apartment sniffling I feel the tears begin to flow more freely. It feels so empty and cold in here now . I can still smell her scent all over the house. I love the way she smells it's like a breath of fresh air on a warm, sunny day. Just by looking at different parts of our bedroom memories fill my head and I glance down at my left wrist that has been engraved with her name "Sabrina" . She was supposed to be my baby until forever but with us forever didn't exist it was just whenever. I guess our whenever ended when she walked out that front door because she took what little bit I had left in me with her. I grab my stuffed elephant that I slept with while cuddling under her and it smells exactly like her and I can't help but shed tears. She's really gone...what do I do now?