Do you like space adventure? Do you like alien creatures? Do you like jokes?
Well, you have come to the right place!
The 'Oh No!' Anthology is a collection of short stories written by great authors of this orange world based on the same theme. In th...
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“Aye, captain,” Spongebob’s voice shrilled through the cockpit. “Aye, Captain.”
So shrill that even Bowie belting out ‘Ground Control’ from the stereo faded into the background.
I muttered some curses, jumped out of my seat, punched the comms button before the annoying fella could talk again. Sponge Bob Square Pants was my favourite character, but that was two decades ago when I was running around in dungarees with a snotty nose. In fact, I hated him now and Shrimp knew this. Every time I visited him, he hung posters all over my space-pod, changed ringtones, he called it reminiscing our childhood. It was supposed to be an inside family joke. Well, if little bro did too many of these jokes, he would be outside my definition of family.
“You okay, bro?” Shrimp’s voice came on the speakerphone.
“I was before you called. When did you change the ringtone?”
“When you were busy snogging Gaitra before your departure.” He chuckled like a kid. He was seventeen going on seven sometimes.
The mention of Gaitra did all sorts of things to me. Why did I have to leave that pretty girl on Earth? She had offered to accompany me but I had to go all high and mighty and tell her what a torture this trip would be. Guess what, it got twenty times worse without those delicious curves.
“Did you find the rest of the surprises?” Shrimp asked.
“I swear, Shrimp, I won’t let you on my ship if you’ve planted more of this shite.”
“Well, you’re not scheduled to return for two years. You sure you’ll be alive till then?”
“I plan to be not only alive but thriving on Andromeda. Don’t forget I’m the Lord of that Galaxy.”
“Lord of dead galaxies means zilch, bro. You might as well be Lord of black holes.”
“Whatever, asshole. Why did you call?”
“Did you pick up the passenger on Neptune?”
I glanced at the blob next to the electronics. In a strange charcoal colour, it seemed like a melting pot of smoke. Not sure I could call it a passenger but that’s what I was told to pick up so I did.
“Okay, about that–”
“Jesus, Drake, have you messed up again? I told you specifically to pick up the passenger. It’s the highest paying one for this leg and the client apparently is a very entertaining one. This ride was supposed to be a fun one. Why do you think I told you not to take Gaitra along?”
