My Life wasnt easy... and it will never be

10th grade

I had started 10th grade and i was loose, i didnt care and i didnt mind the fact that it was my 2nd year and i knew that this year was my year to do my thing and not care. Going to classes seeing who i was in classes with, i liked some and others i hated them. There was so much to do and things started the first day, it was an introduction and then we started on work and we had homework. But i guess that's the process now. It was the 1st week and it was boring and it was always dumb. Every day i walked into a class with a sweater so that i could make a pillow so i could sleep. 2nd, 3rd, and then the 4th week came around and everything went downhill from there and it was a mess. I went on a screaming rampage in the locker room where we store the instruments for band and many people got there stories mixed up but it all came down to the fact that i fucked up and i didnt know what i did until i had got done with the rampage and i got sent to the principals office and my mom was sitting in a chair and she was crying and she told me how i knew better than to use that language and she grabbed my phone and i got ISS for 3 days. It was a Thursday so i served 2 days then during through the weekend, i threatened my sister and i pushed my mom into the coffee table and i have never felt more sorry but i didnt care because before i knew that i was doing that, i didnt realize that I pushed her and i hurt her. I went to work and it was family night so it was very busy and i was stressed out because earlier in the week, she stripped searched my room and she tore my room up and it caused me to go nuts. I got home from work, my vape juice, vape pen, and my monsters were gone. She took them and threw them away. I got mad and i told my sister to go to hell. When i got home worm work i was already yelling at them because they threw that stuff away and they told me to go change my clothes and it was very odd because my mom puts her purse down when she gets into the house but she held it in her hands and repeatedly told me to go change my clothes and i asked why and they had said that they were taking me to the hospital because i needed help so of course i ran downstairs and i slammed my door and locked it and stayed in my swimsuit. My step dad called the police and the paramedics to my house to pick me up and while i was crying and getting mad, i threw things against the wall and i ended up breaking nail polish and busting open but i didnt care, as my sister called my brother, i was yelling and he was trying to calm me down but when he was calming me down the officers were coming down the stairs and i screamed and yelled with my brother on the phone. I hung up on him and i was throwing a huge baby fit in the process of kicking air and throwing a tantrum, my mom pulled me up and the officer asked me questions about how i feel and i told him that i hated the police and that I couldn't stand the hospital. He put me in handcuffs and he did that for my safety and put me in the police car. We rode down to the hospital and he unlocked my handcuffs and i went inside and my brother was there already which i was thankful for but when they called me in they drew blood and then sent me upstairs to the psych ward and i stayed there for a full week and it was the worst week ever. Going through therapy and group as well as taking medication, and eating, also a lot of sleeping. There was one time where we went outside but that was it. I was a prisoner locked in a jail that someone from jail would call paradise. The last day i went home and my bed never felt so good. I went back to school on Monday and i still had the attitude of i dont give a shit about this place, i went to ISS to finish up my time there and then i went to class on Tuesday and everything was confusing but i went with it. In marching band i lost my spot so I didn't have much to do so i ended up sitting on the sidelines and that Friday we had a game, me and one of my friends decided to go into a room and make out, we were caught and then i got 4 days of OSS, things were hell, it was week after week that i was constantly in trouble. Through those days the guy that i was caught with started spreading rumors and i had lost my reputation and everyone hated me. But i still didnt care. After i got out of OSS I went back to school for 4 days and then it was the weekend, my mom decided to enroll me into online school because i had missed so much. I went through that and in the process of falling behind and understanding that I wasn't cut out for online school. I had decided to go back to public school. After Christmas break i went back and people were very disappointed that i was back but it was hard to find friends that still had my back. Things started to get better after i got put on medication and getting help. Through out the year i got a job at Parrot Cove and then i started case management and group as well as restbit. It's been hard juggling all of those activities but I've grown and i now understand what its like to be tired and know what its like to work like my mom. As I'm finishing up 10th grade i remind myself of how much I've grown and how much I've matured and grown into a human and a loving person who is sometimes softhearted. I tried out for drum major and it's something that I've wanted to ever since i was in 7th grade and as i wait on results, its making me very nervous about who's getting it and whose not, we will have to see what happens. Here's to the end of the year. You made it Megan. You fucking did it, Your officially a Junior.