Ghostwriter

Chapter 23

My fingers grace Hill's hand as he spins me around. His hands feel soft and sweaty, and I find myself preferring Jason's rough calloused skin to his.

"You looks beautiful tonight," Hill blushes, "I mean, you look beautiful all the time, but... tonight you just... stunning. You're stunning, Annie."

I hum. I know I don't normally put a second thought into my looks—there is a far more important little human being that tends to steal my morning time—but this feels nice. The fabric, the makeup, and hair, the perfume.

For the first time in a while, I feel pretty. I feel young. I feel free.

"Thank you," I grin at him. "You don't look so bad yourself."

Never seen Hill in a tux before. He looks a little awkward in it, to be honest, but I'm not going to be the one to tell him that. The cat hair all over him doesn't help, either.

But I didn't come over here just to dance with him. We need to talk, even if it's probably going to ruin my night.

My eyes soften. "How's Maja?"

I think I already know the answer, but I need to hear it from him.

It's like ripping a band-aid off a baby. His expression sours and his voice wavers. "You weren't there. You said you would be."

Dead.

I flinch. "I know. I'm so sorry. I never meant to leave you."

Hill's lips purse. He sounds broken. "But you did. Where'd you go, Annie?"

It's what he means that matters: What could possibly be more important than this? What could make me leave him?

"I can't say." I look at our feet, which stumble across the dance floor. Neither of us know much about dancing, the distraction isn't helping the fact.

"And I can't take that answer. I need you, Annie." His hand cups my face, bringing me to look at him.

"I can't say." I move his hand away.

His eyes harden. "Can't or won't?"

"Drop it, Hill. I didn't come over here to talk about me." I give us a little more distance. Wrong move.

"Am I not worth it? Did you have to go and find some other guy to hang around? Are my problems too heavy?" Hill's eyes burn with an anger that I've never seen before in him.

"No! Hill, listen. You're hurt right now. That's valid, but—"

He cuts me off. "I was there, all those months that you needed me. Then, when I need you, you leave!"

"Hill." I tilt my head forehead and take another step back. The skin beside my eyes crinkles. He's not listening!

"It's true." He pulls me back towards him.

My eyes glass over. It's hard not to just spill my guts out right there: to tell him all about Transfuse and Colton and Jason, my might-be-soulmate. But I can't. Not if I want Colton to stay safe. "I can't talk about it. If you keep bringing it up, I'm going to have to leave."

He panics and grabs my hand. Worry replaces his anger. "No, please don't leave me again..."

Unsure of how to respond to that, I let him twirl me again.

He holds me close when I come back. "Annie, I'm so lost and so confused. I love Maja. Even though she's dead I still love her. Everything we could have had together is lost. But when I saw you... do you believe in second chances?"