WANTED! & LOVED

Unexpected Visitors

Here you guys go that wasn't such a long wait now was it xD

-Cole- 

What’s wrong with me? That’s the question that I desperately needed an answer to. Was it my personality that had my relatives running from me? I wasn’t always like this. I used to be fun loving had a great time. No I never had friends but I was happy. I had my parents. I had a good seven years of childhood. Did I change? Did I do something in those first seven years of life to make my family resent me? Was it something so unforgivable that they couldn’t be around me for too long? 

I know my parents tried to hide it but I could tell. They didn’t like being around me, especially my mum. Yeah sure at times she’d pretend to be the mum she thinks she should be but I always knew that it was forced. Did I say anything? No I didn’t want to ruin the almost family that we had. I practically lived off those rare few moments when she pretended like I hadn’t committed some ghastly crime. Pathetic I know but what could I do? it was the only time I would get some sort of affection from her. The only time she’d act like she cared. 

My dad was different he didn’t treat me as strangely as my mum did but he wasn’t affectionate either. He never got involved in anything I did. Whenever my mum was particularly harsh to me he would looked upon me with sympathy but he never said anything, he just let my mum be. 

They never turned up to any parents teachers meeting. My teachers wouldn’t know my parents if they meet them in a supermarket. Not that my parents would ever be in a supermarket as I did all the shopping. I’ve been doing everything for myself since I was eight. I used to wake up in a house alone, go to school and be alone. My world was so lonely. 

For the last week it’s been different I didn’t feel the all too familiar feeling of loneliness. Not with Logan there with me, he had taken some time of work to stay with me and make sure I was okay even though I had only hit my head and didn’t have a concussion or anything. He’ s been so sweet. 

I remember the anger on his face when he told me about my grandmother leaving with my uncle – I still can’t get over the fact that he’s my age- and they haven’t been heard from since. This is what triggered my little self pity party. I mean what was so wrong with me that not only did I get ship off to America but my grandmother hated me and then up and left without telling me where she’s going or when she’s coming back. Though somehow I had a feeling she wasn’t coming back anytime soon. Logan had been angry that my grandmother had left like that and it actually made me feel all warm inside. Is that what someone does when they care? Did they feel the anger on your behalf as if the injustice was done to them instead of you? 

I didn’t know what my feelings were for Logan but I know that with him I felt safe, I felt happy, I somehow felt like I belonged and that was why agreed to be his. I wanted to explore these feelings I had. As the voice said many people didn’t get the chance of whatever it is that I was going to give up. Also i didn't want to be alone anymore, I'd been alone too long. 

Waking up next to Logan for the past week was amazing, I like the feeling of not waking up alone. Although the first morning this happened I was a little freaked as he was just staring at me. i'd tried to decipher the emotion i could see shining strongly in his eyes but I couldn't. It was an emotion I'd never seen before.