How The Hell?!

Dad Number Three's Pretty Pissed ~ Preggo Sauce

Tord got up slowly, with a hand on his bump to steady himself. He stretched, wincing when he heard his joints pop. He’d been asleep for God knows how long in this run down hotel room, and it was finally time to work on his plans. He sat down at the cheaply made desk (just a bunch of crates taped together), and began to write. He didn’t notice the passing of the time, until movement in his stomach made itself apparent. He watched, mesmerized, as his twins shifted around inside him, distending his stomach and causing it to make some weird shapes.

Placing a hand to the stretched skin, he murmured, “I swear you two are going to tear my womb.”

He received two sharp kicks that jostled his stomach. Lovely.

Turning back to his notes, he went back to work. For hours on end he sat there, making diagrams and checklists in messy Norwegian, before more kicking distracted him.

Letting out a groan of annoyance, he grumbled, “Can’t you two just chill for a while?”

Apparently they couldn’t, as they continued to abuse his poor body. Rising from his chair, he grabbed a note that Pau left on the dresser. It was a list of things to do in various predicaments, in case something should go awry. The man was really worried about his safety, especially when he couldn’t personally monitor him. So he resorted to leaving helpful notes like the one Tord had in his hand.

The first item was ‘Walk around’. Simple enough. Tord made a few laps around the small room, picking up anything that was out of place. After lap number five he began to tire of it, but the twins were still squirming.

The second item was ‘Relax, your stress level is probably agitating them’. Not as easy. He was still worried about the events prior to their stay, and the small enclosed space didn’t make things any better. He attempted to revive the old, beat up TV in their room, but it was absolute toast no matter how many tricks he had up his sleeve.

The third and final item was ‘Try rubbing some lotion on your stomach’. Digging through the drawers in their tiny bathroom, he found a small bottle of lotion that wasn’t completely used up by the previous guests. Squirting some into his metal palm, he spread it over the expanse of his belly. The squirming seemed to calm down, whether from the lotion or the constant rubbing he couldn’t tell. Once his twins had settled in his womb, he got back up and sat back down at his desk.

He didn’t remember dozing off, but when he opened his eyes he was lying in bed with the covers pulled over him. He sat up slowly, stretching again.

“I’ll never get these plans done, will I?” he asked nobody in particular.

Glancing around the room, he noticed that the smoke detector was disassembled on the floor.

‘Pau must be back’ he thought to himself.

“Babe, you here?” he asked aloud.

“In the bathroom.”

Tord made his way over, waddling slightly and leaning on the wall for support. True to his word, his boyfriend was leaning against the wall, smoking a cigarette.

“Pau, put that cancer stick out. You know I can get second hand smoke,” Tord huffed

The man did as he was told, discarding the unfinished stick in the garbage can. Now free of any toxins, he pulled Tord in for a hug, rubbing his baby bump.

“You okay?” he asked, pressing kisses along his pregnant lover’s neck.

“Yeah, but I’ve been falling asleep in the middle of things a lot lately,” he replied, noting the two times that he’d dozed off.