20 Days Gone

4.5 (Flashback)

I honestly didn't remember the beginning of it all. I didn't remember most of it, anyways. How you came into my life. It was kind of silent, the way you inserted yourself in my head and became my everything.

The world was dull in colour. Lifeless. I ran all the way to school from my home, a significant distance away. Sweat rolled down my face and dripped onto my shirt. I ran, kept running. I wasn't late for school.

It's just that I wanted to feel the blood flowing in my veins. I wanted to feel... how do I put it? Alive.

I arrived in front of my classroom, ignoring the heavy strain on my muscles. A dark, cold empty room. I turned the lights and fans on, and sat on some random seat at the far corner of the room.

Heavy panting, but I don't feel anything. Everything was grey in colour. A minute passed by. Two. Half an hour. The class was slowly filling itself with familiar classmates from last year. Laughter filled the room, happiness that I don't really feel.

This is what happens when your family is gone. Shot in the head. While you were watching.

Everything was dark since then.

I stared at the ceiling, as if hoping for the ceiling fan above me to fall. To fall and end this life of mine. Honestly, what was the point anymore? My purpose?

Five minutes until the teacher comes, and a new face comes in the class. That was you.

The following string of events may or may not make sense to you reading this. But, no, the sight of you didn't suddenly give my world colour. It didn't make a seriously big change in such a short span of time.

But when I saw you, something did happen. My heart started to beat uncontrollably. My eyes were fixated on you, while you were talking to your friends.

She's beautiful.

That was the first day. I remember.

There was also the following consecutive days, when I repeatedly tried to turn around to you and end up getting told by the teacher, every time, to stop daydreaming.

I wondered to myself too, during the countless sleepless nights I endured right after my family's... disappearance.

Why am I so fixated on you?

I don't remember much of the details after that, except for the fact that we never once talked to each other during the course of that year. Who could help it? My heart was pounding.

We started talking soon the year after, during a project that seemed to be impossible. I could recall you saying "Nothing's impossible if I'm around," with some sarcastic smile on your face. I didn't know how you managed to captivate me more from that day on. Was it your smile?

(Last updated 13 May 2018)