Say 'Yes' - John Seed x Reader

Chapter 5 - You belong here

Y/N POV:

I woke up in the same room again, but this time I didn't want to waste my time walking back and forth with no clue what I was doing. I've finally realized something big that could turn my life all the way around. I like him. I hope he doesn't know that, since I don't want him to think that I'm lusting all over him. But that is actually quite close to the reality.

I got out of the bed and noticed a note on top of one the dressers. I picked it up, and read those carefully written letters;

Dear Y/N. Meet me in the  entrance, I have to share a word or two.

John

Oh God, If he's going to talk about my yesterday's fuck up, my days are numbered. Inside my head I started to feel anxious, when I walked away from the room. I had no idea where this "entrance" was or what he meant by that. I walked around the never ending hallway, where on the walls were numerous words like; "The power of yes" or "You belong here". I wonder, who has even written those? John? The thought of John struggling climbing on ladders just to write the word "Sinner" on the walls over and over again made me feel little better.

Soon I came to this open space. There were a lot of cultists sitting atound long tables. I assumed they were eating breakfast. First, I thought they were going to knock me out for a change, but they just looked at me and kept doing their thing. Geez, I could get use to this not -getting- shot in- two -fucking- seconds"-thing.

I was quite sure that this wasn't the main entrance and bravely went to ask one of the cultists, where should I go to hear my fucking death sentence. I decided to talk to this one young guy, who seemed to be quite shy. It seemed that he was one of those, who were forced to be a part of this cult-shit. This guy was standing alone, leaning against the wall. He had blonde hair and brown eyes, and looked skinny. I walked towards him:

"Heyy...you? Do you know where this "entrance" is?" The man turned to look at me, and seemed to be surprised who I was.

"Y/N? So you were the one who-" He cut his sentence, as if he realized something: 

"Yeah, uhh...The main entrance is just straight ahead from here." He pointed to his side, where the open area formed back to an hallway. I wondered what he was going to say, but finding John and getting this over with was my goal for the day. I went to the place where this guy pointed mr to go to and after awhile I found a door on my left that caught my eye straight away. On the door was a window, which showed me this beautiful view. It was almost like the bliss, where Faith has brought me before. Next to the door was a small sign: 

INDOOR GARDEN

Why would the cultists have this? For the goofs? I was sure that it was there to keep the peggies sane, if this "collapse" would really happen. I mean, if I was a peggie, I would love to have this place. 

(As you walk in, you didn't notice a door little farther of you, next to it was written a sign:

THE ENTRANCE)

I had to go check out this garden. I opened the door and felt this warm breeze blow into my body. It was so relaxing. I didn't close the door behind me, I surely didn't want to get trapped today. In the garden was trees, covered with different fruits like apples and pears. On the ground was lots of flowers reds, blues, whites...anyway, it was fucking gorgeus. The view brought a smile to my face. There wasn't even bliss, which was good for my mentality. Getting hit in the head every day and wondering around in the bliss wasn't really something I enjoyed. 

This place was so relaxing. All my anxiety had faded away, and I wasn't even worried about John anymore. Somehow I knew, everything will be alright. When John came to my mind, I started smiling again. He built this place, didn't he? So he must have still some dignity left. I picked few flowers and hummed my favourite song. I wanted to make one of those flower crowns what girls have in the summer. I used to do these often when I was little younger. But all this cult shit has really taken all of my time.

As I was putting the crown on my head, I found some type of an white garden canopy. On the roof was filled with flowers, which actually covered the whole damn thing. I kept humming the song, and approached this flower- hell looking thing. I went under it and wanted to relax for a second. But before I could do that, I noticed a small dark blue notebook. I picked it up. There were no pictures or words on the cover, but when I turned few pages I saw a name;

John Seed

Wait, what? Is this John's weird teenager" diary? I chuckled to myself. But then I realized that it was his notebook, where he kept his jotting. Why would he forget this here? It must be old or something he wouldn't mind losing. I decided to take it with me. Not only because it could be great use to destroy the Eden's Gate project...but because I wanted to learn something about him. I putted the small book onto my backpocket.

I laid down on my back and closed my eyes. There was no noices. No  smells. No taste. The place was completely oblivious of the outside world. 

"Glad you like the place" I recoiled when I heard a calm voice near me. I sat up and saw him. John looked at the flowers on the canopy next to him and gently touches them with a smile. My heart was still racing little bit. 

"How long have you-?" I couldn't get the words out of my mouth. 

"I saw you walking trough the wrong door. Didn't anyone know how to lead you to the right place?" He said and smiled lightly, while looking at me. His eyes looked even purer in the garden.  So he saw everything. Me humming and wondering around like a headless chicken. Great. 

"Sorry, I was just curious about this place. I was just going to leave." I said, trying to collect myself. I made sure that the notebook wouldn't fall out of my pocket.  I wasn't sure if he saw me taking it or not.

"Didn't look like it, but it doesn't matter." He stops fidgeting with the flowers and sits in front of me. 

He looked at me calmly. I couldn't look back at him out of my shame.

"You are...how do I say this?...Different." He said while looking at the same direction as I did. What did he mean by that?

"This has never happened before but..." He said calmly. What is he going to say? Does he...like m-

"I do not know your sin." His tone of voice didn't change. My heart dropped a little. What was I even expecting... But I wasn't surprised that he didn't know my sin. I wasn't against Eden's Gate because of selfishness or wrath. To be honest, I wasn't sure of my sin aswell.

"So I've decided to keep you in here until I know it for certain." That made glance at his way. He looked serious and stared down. We stayed silent. I didn't know what to say. I was against the idea first, i wanted to see my family and friends, but at the same time...

"Y/N." He said, while turning to look at me again. His voice softened, as he said my name.

"Y-Yes?" I didn't mean to stutter, but him saying my name sounded so sweet.

"How could you be so calm and...happy in a place like this?"

"What do you mean, this place is beautiful."

"I mean...Ok let me ask this straight-" He took a small break:

"Why didn't you walk away when you had the chance?"  

I had to think. Why didn't I escape? The cultists didn't seem to care if I left or not...I had plenty of time too. What the actual fuck. I realized I stayed because I wanted to. But what should I say?

"I...I don't know John." I started to blush again and I awkwardly tried to hide it. Fucking hell, Why can't I just be one of those people who didn't have this problem?

I didn't look at his way. But I'm glad he didn't start mocking me. I heard him getting up and in the corner of my eye I saw him walking slowly towards the door.

"You should wear that crown more often." I didn't know was he smiling or not when he said that. But his voice wasn't cunning as he usually does. That sentence made my heart jump. I still had the flowers on my head? How did I forget?  When he was out of my sight, I still haven't moved.

 And there it was again. No sounds. No smells. But An aftertaste of certainty, that there could be something.