Unsteady //Zach Herron//

/24/

Zach Herron
September 12
( night )

Lately, Adeline has been distant and quiet. Ever since the beach, she's been more self reserved and rarely talks but in her eyes, it's like she has a million thoughts and is torn yet she wants to share all her thoughts. 

We had already had dinner and she barely ate, all she had was like five bites of her sandwich then went inside the bathroom for like twenty minutes and came back out. 

Currently, Adeline just came out from the bathroom since she'd just took a shower. Her beautiful ombré hair was wet but somewhat dry, her skin now looked more refreshed from the fresh water and her pajamas which was a plain navy blue sweatshirt then black spandex.

I had already taken my shower and was on our bed, waiting. "Adeline, can I talk to you?" my voice was soft, she turned around from the small desk and nodded slowly then made her way towards me. 

Carefully, she sat down but I pulled her closer to me and wrapped her in my arms. "Tell me how you feel, I want to know. You were quiet most of today and barely ate. Please, just talk to me." Adeline turned around in my arms, tears already in her eyes.

"I cannot do this anymore, Zach" she finally spills. "Do what anymore?" I question. "Pretend. I can't pretend anymore. I'm sick of it and I rarely eat at all because I am slowly starting to get into the habit of being anorexic. You think I've stopped cutting myself? I haven't...and it kills me because I know that you don't want me to. I'm still insecure with myself, I'm not confident. I don't want the entire school to know what my body looks like or else they'll start a chain of horrible names for me. It's all like a trap and I'm stuck in it. It's like no matter how hard I try to drown the demons in my head, they won't drown, they know how to swim. It's like I'm in the middle of the ocean, screaming for my life yet nobody can hear me. No matter how hard I try, Zach, I'm stuck in a trap" she cries. 

Adeline was now pacing back and forth in front of the bed. Tears on her cheeks and some slipping off her chin and down onto the floor. "Baby" I say while standing up and carefully taking hold of her wrist. "What" she fully breakdowns now and collapse into my arms. 

"Shhh" my voice coos as I sat back down on the bed. "Calm down" I mumble into her hair and kiss the top of her head as my thumb rubs along her shoulder in a way to soothe her. Eventually, her breathes became normal and her crying was now more quiet.  "I promise you that you will get through with this battle, okay? I'm always gonna be here for you no matter what" I speak.

"Stop saying that! I'm never gonna be okay! Nothing will ever be okay! Stop promising me that everything is going to get better because it's not" she yells with more tears streaming down her face again. 

"Baby...please" tears now spilling from my eyes. Silent took over the entire room and neither of us spoke. Adeline was still breathing hard and crying but was trying to calm herself down, I sat on the bed with tear stained cheeks and new tears spilling still. 

Eventually, Adeline's soft hands met with my cheeks and she rested her chin on my head. "I'm so sorry for yelling at you" she sniffles then kisses the top of my head. My arms wrap around her waist and pull her closer.  My girlfriend sits down on my lap and I hold onto her tightly. Our eyes meet each other's and she softly places her lips onto mine, her hands going down to my neck. We soon pull apart and her eyes are still closed as she rests her forehead on top of mine.  "I love you" she whispers.

"I love you too" my voice comes out as a whisper just like hers. "Please, just believe me when I say that I'll always be here for you...okay?" I say and she nods her head. "Let's just enjoy this trip together" I add in and a small smile comes across her face.

Currently, the time is 6:00 pm. We are on the beach watching the sunset and it's the most beautiful thing right now. Adeline is wearing a plain white cropped sweatshirt and black leggings as I'm wearing black jeans and navy blue sweatshirt.  We had washed up a little bit before coming down to the beach since our eyes were bloodshot red from crying.

"I love you so much, princess. I'll never let anything bad happen to you. You mean the entire universe to me and no matter what, you'll always have my heart" I peck her lips and she smiles at me. "I love you so much more, babe. No matter where you are, I will always be with you by spirit and heart" she tells me.  The rest of the night, we continued watching the sunset and having long random talks. A lot of laughs and smiles were shared as some kisses. We took a walk on the beach and she was so happy that she made like ten people smile at that time. 

Adeline Rae Brooks...you are something different.

Word count: 919