Why Am I Special?

"Today Halfway Sucked"

Today was a B day at school. At first it went smooth but then it got worse. Something I haven't mentioned to you guys. I had a son. Now if you're think omg you were pregnant. No guys. No. My "play" son is 14. He liked me since we were in the eighth grade. He always treated me like a queen and never disappointed me even though I've made him sad. Feel bad for that. He never gave up on trying with me and still doesn't. But that's another story for another time. My bad day started when too many guys and friend guys were flirting with me today, well they always do. It was extra tho. Even Donald flirted hard today. I got a lot of attention everyday but really on B days. I don't always like it. Especially if it's negative. Guys only have their mind on one thing. Well some guys are good out there but they're hiding because a good girl like me sure can't find one.

I didn't understand why lots of girls envied me because guys gave me so much attention. I don't ask for it. Don't really need it. People keep telling me aww your fine Sadiya , you're very very beautiful, your personality is the best. I didn't see that. Yea sure I can be good and be a big sis to everyone and all but I couldn't see what they physically saw. Yea I thought I was pretty, okay, about average but some friends thought I looked better. I guess I started to except me for me a while back. I use to not like my mocha skin, my skinny legs, the way my teeth were a little crooked but white. Now I'm getting compliments you're getting thicker, you're getting a lil curvy, your color is pretty. I always asked what was wrong with me before but they said nothing you're having a glow up. I only roll my eyes. The boy I mentioned earlier ,my son, he thinks I'm the best girl in the world. I don't think he likes me ,I think he loves me. I can see it. He always tells me and shows me. His name is Taylor. Multiple I've rejected him when he ask me out, he hurts but he still tries. He says I'm rare but I still didn't understand why he thought I was so special. Why every guy thought that. And every ex. I need answers.

After I was flirted with half of the day and hung out with Taylor I was ready to go home. I had to finish my project that my teacher gave us at last minute. It represented six test grades and it was a lot. I saw Jacoby and Alonda all made up. I wondered how could they make up like that after all he did. Actually after all the mischief they did together. There's no way I would forgive that easily. I'd need a little space and get back into the groove. I asked Taylor was what up with that he only shook his head in a shameful way.
After a while my brother and I made it home and I got a a text message. It read ,"What's this I hear about that I hurt you." It was from Keshun. I wanted to yell at him. I hated hating people but for a moment I hated him. I replied to the text" Ask Savion. He'll tell you. Nevermind ,I'll show you myself." So I send him the screenshots and he was upset. Everything he said afterwards was a lie. He made a petty remark but I don't care. That's probably the end of us. As soon as I ended the conversation I felt a weight lifting off my shoulders. I felt good again. Only one thing. I had another ex and my son to deal with. The other ex didn't go to my school. His name is Jakeith. He tells me everyday how much he's sorry and how much he loves me and stuff. I don't fall for it. He's 17 and still acts like a baby. But at least he has a job and makes good money to know how to take care of himself. He doesn't know how to let me go. He's obsessed and won't leave me alone. I gave it a shot and us being friends though. Tired of him saying the same words I hear almost everyday. You're different , you're you, can't find anyone like you. Well duh it's only one me. Still can't get why I'm special. No one will break it down and tell me what makes me that way.

Still trying to find myself,find who I am but people make it worse by telling me something I haven't even figured out that I am yet. They always say your high school years are you learning more about you. I'm still trying.

After the Keshun thing I wasn't about to allow myself to go through those stages. I listened to turnt music the whole night. Tyga, Big Sean, Chris Brown and more people really made me feel better. Now the mode I was in was I don't give a crap mode. I'm going to go to school everyday this way from now on until I'm ready to open back up.

Sorry about this chapter guys. It seemed a little boring but it was a rush job. Forgive me. Also forgive me about the less dialect.  I'll do better next time.🙏🤦😘😭😂