raw

incantation of despair

my depression

is like a stroll in a garden

but

the air has changed in density

heavy weights resting on

my skin

my eyes

my lungs

some days

it hurts to breathe

my lungs are not made of iron

the air pressure lacerates the tissue

ripping through layers of

pink and

pure

until there is nothing left.

my depression

is a leech

feeding off

everything that makes me human

finding the sweet spots

and draining them dry

with the emptiness.

my depression

is a warrior's battle

where all is red with rage and blood

and the overwhelming scent of iron

wafts from the scene

and my endless anger screams for justice

a disguise

for the screams for mercy

because it feels better

to be angry

than sad.

my depression

is arts and crafts

carefully sliced paper snowflakes

meticulously hidden mishaps

where the safety scissors

just couldn't stay on track.

my depression

is a chokehold

meaty hands around my throat

bruises springing up like flowers in the dawn of spring

i am incapable

of even breathing sometimes

because this

thing

is holding me back.

my depression

is a cry for help

a velociraptor scream

the shriek of a witch

making her home

miles below the surface

screaming

as she begins to come into the light.

my depression

is a carnival

overwhelming

with so many bright colors

they fuse into glaring white.

my depression

is my naked body

exposed

violated

with a hundred sets of eyes on my most vulnerable features.

my depression

is a broken home

tiptoes up the stairs

and anxiety over staying out for more than two hours.

my depression

is quicksand

a warm embrace from the outside world

as it slowly steals my

motion

my breath

my fear.

my depression

is a loud room

but no one is there

and the door is covered in padlocks

for which i have no key.

my depression

is a pile of laundry from october

and no hope of doing anything

but pushing it under the bed.

my depression

is sad songs at full blast.

my depression

is the burrs of a creeping loneliness

i can't seem to shake off my back.

my depression

is more common than you would believe.

my depression

is human.

but my depression

is not all there is

to me.