Heart Strings

CHAPTER 15

Leah

I did not just hear that......

No way.....

Why?

What did I do wrong?

Where did I go wrong?

Why me?

These questions kept running through my head. I could feel my anger pulsating up the anger thermometer. Was it anger? Or was it sadness? I couldn't make out.

What the fuck just happened.

My steps unconsciously led me back to the bowling ally. Why did I follow them in the first place? I shouldn't have done that. What's wrong with me.

Why?

WHY!?

I sat down, holding my hair and pulling onto its root. It hurts. It hurts so fucking much. I can't take this anymore. I just can't.

Suddenly I felt all blank. All my emotions just slipped away to one dark one. I couldn't quite make out what this feeling was. It felt like a black mist, surrounding me, engulfing me from all sides. Like it was entering my body, and slowly decaying it.

I stood up. Ran upto the counter and gave back the bowling shoes. Put on my black converse and ran.

I just ran, the direction my feet carried me.

I found myself at the beach. My feet ached from all the running. I took of my shoes and tossed them aside. I kept staring into the horizon.

'What is the point of all this?'

'Is it even worth living right now?'

'What worth is my life?'

'I killed my own mother. So there is no point in living at all'

I smiled.

That's right. I don't need to live anymore. All this drama ends now.

I took one step. Then another. And another. I kept going deeper and deeper until the water level was at my shoulder.

'Suketh.....why? I loved you so much! So why? What did I do to deserve this? '

The water level was at neck now. I was on my toes. My end is near.

But just then, I felt a small pat on my shoulder. I turned around.

There stood a woman, dressed in white, her black hair flowing in the wind. She was beautiful. She was my mother.

"Sweety,  what are you doing!?"

"I want to be with you Ma"

"Then who's going to look after your dad!?"

"He's going to get married to another woman anyway, so he won't need me"

"That's where your wrong love, he needs you more, right now.  If you come here, he'll break to the point he would blame himself for it. Would you really want that?"

I thought for a moment. That's right. Dad would go nuts. He'd be alone in this world. I don't want that.

"Ma....."

" Yes sweety?" She had the most gentle smile on her face. She looked like an angel.

"I love you. And I miss you. Please come back"

"I'm always there for you. And I love you more than ever sweety. And do me a favour and stop blaming yourself. Please do that for mommy?"