Querencia

Chapter 2

I try to process the recent incident.

'..... so it was a dream..... dream'

The vivid memory about yuto is slipping through my mind once again.

His sad face, sad smile, his back leaving me alone.

My heart is throbbing whenever I remember those expression.

'Cmon.. get a grip myself. It's only a dream.. a dream'

But....

It feels so real.

I took a deep breath and try to relief myself. It needs about several minutes for me to get a grip of myself. After calming down, I took a little glance to the clock hanging on the wall.

'Holysh.. it's almost eight..'

It surprised me a lot that I woke up late, I was supposed to wake up at seven so I will have enough time to prepare my upcoming schedule. I hurried up to the bathroom and take a quick shower. After finishing my super quick shower, I wear the clothes I've prepared last night.

I have a tendency to prepare anything before the deadline, so it doesn't take too long for me to dress up. My apartment itself is not quite big and pretty simple, it consist of two bedrooms, bathroom, closet, family or living room and kitchen. Kitchen is definitely my favorite room since I love to cook- which I feel annoyed I cant prepare breakfast due to waking up late, so I only have toast and a cup of tea.

I finished breakfast in time with the van coming to pick me up. I will have a morning meeting for my new drama and after that I will go the agency for Jump's schedule meeting with Jump members. Meeting up with Jump members means that I will meet Yuto.

The dream is trying to occupy my mind once again and I am trying to shrug it off.

'Get a hold myself.. Yuto will never leave' is what I am trying to ensure myself.

The meeting for the drama took about two hours.

It mainly focused on how to promote the drama, the variety show, shooting term, place- date and so on. After the long explanation, we are eating lunch together and soon the meeting is ended. The meeting ended at noon and there is still one hour before another meeting with Jump member.

The drama meeting location is not quite far away from the agency so one hour is more than enough to make it in time.

The members are already gathered in the room when I arrived. Our producer starts the meeting by saying there will be an announcement from Yuto. My heart is starting to skip a beat when I heard that.

I was wondering what will Yuto announce.
Is he being cast in new movie or dorama ? Does he found another hobby ? Does he finally decided to make a photography show as I suggested ?

I am trying to be composed although there are some little worries occured through my mind especially after having such a nightmare before.

The tall ash brunette who will mutter his confession is sitting on my right side. He is wearing oversized black sweater and navy long jeans. He sit diagonally from my seat.
He seems nervous as he plays his knuckles, nodding down in a while then looking straight forward to the white walls. Sometimes his vision wandered around the room without sharing any eye-lock towards all of the members.

"What's wrong ?" I asked.

My question is answered with silence. I don't even know why but there is something like 'I dont like this' feeling.

"umm..." he mumbled.

I am looking at him with earnest since I dont want to miss anything from his expression.

"I think my will towards acting is getting stronger..."

He is silent for quite while and finally drop his announcement.

"I.. will quit JUMP"

So here it is. The bomb has been dropped.

The words that I have been avoiding for years.

The words that I wished never be uttered from all of the members especially Yuto. The guilt is suddenly pampering me as I remembered our old days when the center position were changed.

All of the memory about the dreams are occupying my mind and I feels like I can cry at the moment. My heart feels like it has been crushes into pieces.