Never let you go (Emblem 3)

Chapter 6

After a while, I split up the kiss, but stood there still very close of him. He was holding me by my back, and I'm pretty sure that if he wasn't I would already have fallen. But, what was I doing? I couldn't be with him, although I really like him, he is still a musician.

I stood up straight and walked back, leaving a big space between us. "Sorry, I can't do this" I said and tears started falling from eyes. I turned my back to him and started walking to leave the classroom. "So that's it? You are just going to deny that what we have is special and worth having, just because you are supposing that I am your dad? I am so sorry about what happened with you and him, but I am not him and I will never be. But if you just want to continue to throw all this away than go ahead." he said and walked away.

Maybe I was really over reacting. I know he is not my dad, but I just don't want to go over all that again. I just can't, I suffered so much already. But what I feel for Wes is actually very special, I am in love with him and all this could work out if all that my dad did stopped knocking on my head every second I am with Wesley.

I went to the toilet, and looking myself on the mirror I realised why everyone was talking about the way I looked. I was terrible, I looked like a dead raccoon. But I just was not on the mood to care about this today, I was just too sad that my current love was walking away from me and I wasn't doing anything about it.

Then, I heard the bell again and I had to went to my Math class. Gladly Wesley was not on it, so I didn't had to face him again after all that just happened. But during the class I didn't heard anything my teacher was saying. All over my head, the only thing there was is Wesley, Wesley, Wesley. Maybe he was right. He was not my dad, and maybe it was time for me to accept that not all musicians do leave. What I feel for him is real and strong, and maybe I was really being the most stupid girl in the whole world to just let him go and throw all this away. I have to throw my dad away, and have to stop to let him interfere in my life and my decisions.

I spent the rest of the day much better, cause I was just being very stupid to let him go. The last class bell rang, so I went to my car and drove home. I got to my place and went straight to my room. I sat in my bed and texted Wesley to see if he could meet me somewhere so we could talk.

*Texts on*

15:34h  Me: Hey, sorry for everything. Can we meet somewhere to talk?      

15:56h Wesley: There's nothing to talk about.      

16:01h Me: Please. I really want talk to you.   

16:17h Wesley: Sorry.  

*Texts off*

So, that's it? When I figure everything out is already too late? OMG I really screwed up this time. I didn't meant to,  how can this be happening? When I finally think I found love I fuck everything up and now Wes doesn't even want to talk to me anymore. How could I do this? I just let him walk away and didn't even did anything. I'm really the most stupid girl in the entire world.

I just spent the rest of the day at home, alone and watching sad romance movies and eating all the ice cream I could find at home. Making the story short, I just spend the day thinking about Wes and crying till I dried all the water of my body.

I went to bed early, I just wanted to sleep and stop thinking about everything. It took me a long time to fall asleep, but I finally did.

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I slowly woke up by my song, but again it didn't cheer me up, I was still too sad to wake up happy as usual. I just went to the bathroom and showered quickly. I let my hair dry by itself and didn't even applied my mascara. I went to my room and had a idea.

I wore my Endless Summer sleeveless male shirt ( don't even ask me why I have this), is the same Wesley always is wearing, just in a different color. His is yellow, and mine is blue. I then wore my baggy jeans and I wore a cap backyards. Yes, I was trying to dress up just like Wes would. I don't even know why, I guess it would make he notice me, or at least make him realise that I am really sorry and that I need him, so I turned into him. I don't even believe I am going to school like this, but is for the best and I hope it works out.

I went downstairs and just grabbed an apple and threw it in my backpack. I then went to my car and drove to school, really hoping that plan would work out. I wish I was not going dressed just like a boy for nothing, and not a normal guy, Wesley.

I got to school and everyone stared at me and commented about the way I was dressed. It is when I realise I have no friends. I haven't talked to Julie for days and I just had no one to talk to and eveyone was saying bullshit of me. That made me feel very depressed, how could my life change like that just with a blink of eyes?

My first class was Science, and Wes was on it as well. Great, so he would see my outfit and maybe say something or at least have some kind of reaction, right? No. Not right. he just ignored my existence during all class, and when it was over I tried to talk to him but he just walked away just like if he didn't heard me. Why was I so damn stupid? I wanna die right now.

I spent the rest of the day trying to live it without crying every second I remembered how shitty my life was, which was basically every fucking second. I have no clue how I will live the rest of my days in this college.

Then the last bell rang and I thanked God it did, finally the day was over. And it went much slower and much worse then what I have pictured earlier. Then I went to my locker to get my material to do my homework. That's when a guy I didn't recognized stopped near me and asked "Hey girl, do you know were Wesley is? I'm are here to pick him up and I can't find him", then I just answered "I think he already left". Some strange guy have to ask me, from everyone they pick me, about Wesley.

Then I started crying again, I really tried not to cry in front of this guy I didn't even knew, but I just couldn't stop it. What a great impression on some very cute guy. Then he asked me " Hey, are you crying?", then I just said "No, is just something in my eye" and started drying out the tears from my face. "So, I am Keaton, and as Wes already left why don't we go skate a bit or something like that? It looks like you enjoy this stuff". Oh dear he is saying that because I am dressed like a fucking boy. What am I going to do? He is very cute but I don't skate at all. "Sure, sounds good" I said. Then he said " Let's go then".

OMG.OMG.OMG. I know this guy. I know this guy. This is the other boy that sings with Wesley in their band. The image of them singing on my TV came to my mind, yeah this is definetly him. How could this day get any better? Now I was going to go skating with Wesley friend.