The Origin of Fear

Chapter 16

Loki held Fera in his arms for what seemed like an eternity as she regained the strength the Elfsbane had taken from her. He wondered what the Emperor had done; she had no marks or scars on her skin, yet she labored to breathe and her eyes had changed. The veins beneath the skin around her eyes were nearly popping out, glowing bright blue and purple and giving her an eery appearance. Her eyes themselves were completely black, the irises and the scleras taking on the same darkness as her pupils. She was barely able to keep her eyes open, and Loki frowned as she blinked agonizingly slowly, each time giving him a heart attack and causing him to wonder if she had closed them for good. Slowly, color began to return to her cheeks, and she looked at him with a gaze full of reproach, her brows furrowing in incredulity. 

“You must be joking,” she seethed. “Please tell me this is merely my own madness, expressing itself in the most annoying manifestation possible,” 

“Thanks for coming, Loki,” he returned in a mocking voice. “Thanks for risking your life to find me. You’re so brave, I’m so sorry for ever doubting you,”

“What,” she began through gritted teeth, “Are you doing here?”

“Oh, you know, just taking a stroll,” he snapped as she sat up of her own accord, leaving his arms. He watched her warily, ready for her to fall weakly back into him or become extremely angry and attack him—or possibly both.

She gave him a weak grimace, her eclipsed eyes narrowing as she drew her knees to her chest. “I told you—” she started. 

“Yes, I know what you said,” Loki interrupted in a hard voice, silencing her. He stood and offered her a hand. “You can hate me while we’re escaping. Come on,” She stared at him for a few moments, her brows raising in the middle and her mouth sliding into a frown. 

“I can’t,” she said in a low whisper, wrapping her arms around her bent legs. 

“By the Nines,” Loki groaned, sinking to the ground beside her again. “Did they break your legs?” 

“No,” she answered, confused. 

“Then you can stand, you can walk, you can run, and you can leave this place with me,” he said. “I know you despise me for lying to you. You loathe me. But right now, I don’t give a damn. I just want to get you out of this camp and back to Asgard or Silvë or wherever it is you want to go. As long as it isn’t here,”

“You need to stop trying to rescue me,” she hissed. “I don’t need you to save me, Loki. I chose this. Besides, you’re destroying your chance at saving Asgard,” 

Loki exhaled heavily, and dragged a hand down his face. He heard no cries of alarm from outside, and knew no Orc or Thursar had realized his infiltration. Yet. “This is not an option,” he said to her. 

“Oh? What else have you and your brother come up with?” 

Loki hesitated. “The best idea was tunneling under the camp and sprouting up from beneath them,” he muttered.  

She raised a brow. “That’s pathetic,” she offered. 

“No more pathetic than sitting here like a moron, waiting for them to kill you,” he snapped in reply. “This is why I lied to you. I knew you would do something idiotic and brave like this,” he continued.

“Bravery is idiotic, is it?” she replied indignantly. 

“When it involves you handing over your life on a silver platter, yes, it is!” he hissed. She narrowed her eyes but said nothing, and he continued. “I knew, from the moment you nearly fell apart when you almost killed Thor, that you would sacrifice yourself to end the war. I knew you would set yourself on fire so the rest of the universe didn’t have to burn. And I made a decision. It was wrong, but I stand by it. I didn’t want to lose you. I couldn’t. So I lied to you. And I’m—” he winced as the next word poured out of his mouth. “—sorry that I lost your trust in doing so. But I would do it again in a heartbeat. It kept you safe, and it kept you alive. And I know you doubt me, but your safety and survival is more important to me than you returning the sentiment,”