19 | paranoia

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 19

P A R A N O I A

      When they broke apart, a new song was playing

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      When they broke apart, a new song was playing. It was just as loud and angry as the other, drumming against the walls, and making Mia's head pound. Then again, that could be the blood rush. Mia felt like she was going to explode all hot and red in the face. A boy had never made her feel that way. She recognized the song — was it a song by Breaking Benjamin? — and she tried to focus on it instead of the way Matias looked up at her. His arms still held her, keeping her up and diminishing any personal space between them, and then Mia remembered that she was in school.

        They were in the school's natatorium, in the pool, basically close to being naked, and making out like there was no tomorrow. Now this, this definitely was top of the list of Wildest Things Mia Khafari did.

        The silence that followed after their kiss was immensely awkward, but that didn't stop Mia from wanting more. Right now, as messy as her life was, kissing boys in school pools seemed like the most normal thing to do — and it made her feel sane again like she didn't have to worry about Jeffrey Dormer and her strange best friend. Like she could be herself again without the additional weight on her shoulders. Naturally, Mia took those two minutes of silence to admire the brown freckles on his face and his eyes.

        It was in those two minutes, that she had registered the emotion in Matiases eyes to be regret and confusion. His dark eyebrows were furrowed and his stupid mouth stayed open, the ends of his white teeth showing. The water had been freezing cold before, but now it just felt too hot to handle.

        "You'll call me?" Mia broke the silence and she hated how delicate she sounded, like a schoolgirl with a crush. Which, to be fair, she was — but she didn't like showing a guy how bad she liked him.

        Matias didn't respond. Under his scrutiny, Mia felt like her body was on fire. The music felt like it was getting more obnoxious with each guitar strum and drumbeat, ringing in her ears. There are droplets of water trailing down both of their faces to the tips of their shoulders, and Matiases lips look pleasantly wet, a soft pink, shimmering under the pool lights. Mia felt something in her stomach at the sight and she extracted her body from his, his arms loosening as she did so.

        "Yeah," Mia heard Matias say quietly in response.

        Climbing out of the water, Mia's cami and shorts clung to her body tightly. The clothes felt heavy on her as she began walking awkwardly. She collected her clothes and sneakers, holding them in one hand, and opened a door with the other. She peeked out to see if anyone lurked in the halls. Thankfully, it was deserted, and quickly, Mia made her way to the girls' locker room that was only two rooms down, leaving a trail of footprints behind her.

        It was in the girls' locker room that Mia figured out she had absolutely no idea what she had done. Not only was it freezing outside, but she was soaked, with no possible way to dry herself. She stood in the pool of water she had made, grateful that the locker room was empty, and mentally cursed at herself. She closed her eyes tightly, picturing the confusion in Matias' face even though he kissed her.

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