"im sorry sir but we're going to do whatever we can to help you." the doctor said and i nodded, thanking him before he left.
i just sat on the hospital bed and looked down at my lap, not knowing what the fuck i should do.
taehyung placed his hand on my shoulder and sighed.
"im so sorry kookie." taehyung said and i shook my head, shrugging my shoulders lightly. "there's nothing anyone can do. i just have to make the best of the time i have left." i wiped my tears and stood up slowly.
taehyung led me out of the hospital and into his car. the ride to my house was filled with nothing but silence.
what was there to talk about?
the cancer i was just diagnosed with or how nice the weather is?
there it is...
i have blood cancer, also know as leukemia.
just like my dad.
turns out we have more in common than i thought.
unfortunately...
we finally got to my house and my heart broke when i saw you run out of your house, smiling as you ran towards the car.
"don't tell him." i quickly told taehyung and then smiled at you, opening the car door to hug you.
"where were you? i was worried." you said and i faked a chuckle. "just the doctors. they said im fine but i should take it easy, that's all." i said and you picked me up, spinning me around.
"my baby is okay." you whispered and i giggled. "yeah im perfect." i said and then pulled away from you. "go inside, i'll be right there.." i mumbled and you quickly went back to your house without asking any questions.
i walked over to taehyung once you were gone and took a deep breath.
"i'll tell him, i promise just— just not now. you know how i feel about him and if he feels the same then im screwed." i said and taehyung pulled me into a hug.
"jungkook you're strong, i know you are. you can make it through this." taehyung said and i nodded.
"yeah... okay. i'll see you at school tomorrow." i said and taehyung pecked my cheek. "yeah. just fight this for all of us, okay kook? not just for jimin or me or yoongi... we all need you and we all love you."
i nodded again and took another deep breath so i wouldn't cry.
"of course tae. i love you too. now go before i cry." i let out a sad laugh and taehyung smiled, a sad smile that is.
"bye kook."
"bye." i waved and walked over to your house, entering slowly.
"jimin?" i called out to you.
the lights were all off and candles made a path from the door to the stairs and further. i smiled softly and followed the path, guessing thats what i was supposed to do.
once i reached the stairs i noticed rose petals that continued the path that i knew led to your room.
as quick as i could i walked to your room and genuinely smiled once i reached your door.
there was a heart shaped paper on the door.
on it it said, 'i have something to tell you jeon jungkook, open the door.'
following your orders i pushed the door open and my smile widened when i saw you on your bed, holding a rose out to me.
i climbed onto your large bed and sat in front of you, grabbing the rose and planting a kiss right on your lips.
"what is it?" i asked and you hummed.
"well i have a little speech planned so here i go." you smiled and pretended to clear your throat which made me laugh.
"it took me a while to get the courage to talk to you jungkook but im really happy i finally did. you've become someone i really care for and i don't know what id do if i lost you." you smiled again and i bit back the tears that were threatening to escape my eyes.
"even though we became boyfriends due to a drunk dare im still extremely happy we did. although back then i kinda just liked you... i thought you were cute and i liked to spend time with you because you made me laugh quite a lot. but now..." you paused to grab onto my hands and hold them in yours.
"now i love you. i think you're absolutely beautiful and i love spending time with you not only because you make me laugh but because you make me so unbelievably happy. i really have no idea where id be if i didn't meet you but i certainly don't want to even think about that."
you kissed my nose cutely and wiped my tears away with the pads of your thumbs.
"forever and always?" you asked and i let out a sob as i tackled you in a hug. "forever and always. i love you too." i whispered and you giggled.
"i expected you to tear up but i didn't think you'd cry like this." you said and i wiped my tears, sniffing quietly.
"sorry." i sat up and you chuckled. "don't apologize baby." you pecked my lips and i smiled.
truth is the reason i cried so much was because i didn't want you to love me.
i know now that i'll really break your heart when i die and there's nothing i can do to stop that from happening.
im not going to push you away cause that'll hurt even more...
im just going to love you until the day i die.
what else can i do?
"i love you so much jimin." i whispered and you smiled sweetly. "i love you more jungkook."
-
dear diary,
turns out you love me too.
im happy you love me, i really am... i just wish i didn't have cancer. i just wish i had more time to love you.
please when you read these after i die don't cry, just smile the best you can.
i just want you to be happy jimin.
god, i love you so much and im going to fight for you.
for you and taehyung and yoongi and seokjin and namjoon and hoseok and even my parents.
they'll be proud of me if i make it.
hopefully i'll make it.
- jungkook
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