i am not going to make this about my sad cancer-filled life, okay?
im writing this for you and its supposed to make you smile not cry.
i will no longer write about the sad things, only the things in my life that i love. for example, you.
having you is amazing jimin, it really is and ive probably told you this many times. you're the best thing that's ever happened to me.
im super lucky to have you and the rest of the guys by my side.
you're all amazing—
-
"kook, id love to stay here and listen to your pen scratch against that paper all day but unfortunately that would make us late for school so come on."
i chuckled softly and grabbed my bookbag, swinging it over my shoulders before grabbing your hand that you held out to me.
"sorry i lost track of time." i said and you shrugged, pecking my cheek.
"no worries. you do it a lot so im used to it." you said and i pursed my lips as we started on our journey to school.
you like to walk to school although we both have cars. you say its good exercise and it probably is but it kills me.
the weight of my bookbag is sometimes too much for my weak body to hold up.
today, thankfully, isn't one of those days.
i feel okay today.
"after school—" i started but you cut me off.
"you'll be hanging out with taehyung, i know. you really don't have to tell me anymore, im used to that too." you said and i looked down at my feet as we walked.
"im sorry jimin... i kinda have to." i said and you nodded. "you're not mad are you?" i asked quietly and you shook your head, smiling softly at me.
"i could never be mad at you." you pecked my lips and i smiled.
"thanks." i mumbled and you hummed.
we got to school and went our separate ways after saying our 'i love you's' which had to be my favorite part of the day.
"taehyung!" i called out to taehyung when i saw him by his locker, talking to yoongi of course.
"hey kookie, having a good morning?" taehyung raised an eyebrow and i shrugged. "wouldn't say its the best but its okay." i said and waved at yoongi.
"look tae... i wanna tell the guys today. i told jimin i have to go with you after school even though i really don't but i wanna tell them at least. y'know... before its too late."
taehyung pursed his lips and nodded. "of course. i'll make a group chat and tell everyone to come to my house. no jimin though." tae said and i nodded.
"thank you. i'll see you later, bye yoongi." i waved again and then made my way to class.
-
once school ended i met up with taehyung by his car after kissing jimin goodbye.
"ready kiddo?" taehyung asked and i nodded, punching his shoulder lightly for calling me kiddo.
"im not that much younger than you." i chuckled and he smiled. "so what? it fits." he said and i sighed.
we got to his house and practically everyone was there except hobi hyung who was running a bit late.
we were all sitting in the dining room eating snacks and laughing about whatever we were talking about until taehyung got everyone's attention.
"guys... jungkook wants to tell us something." taehyung said and i bit my lip, fiddling with my fingers as everyone's attention turned to me.
"him and jimin are getting married." hoseok joked and i smiled softly, shaking my head. "no that's not it... although i wish it was."
i took a deep breath before looking up again.
"what's wrong kook?" seokjin hyung asked and i blinked away the tears in my eyes.
"i was diagnosed with cancer a few weeks back." i said and it went quiet.
no one said a word or moved a muscle. i was too afraid to look up and see everyone's expressions so i continued to stare at my lap with no emotion whatsoever.
"oh my god." i heard seokjin start to cry and a bit of shuffling around.
namjoon hyung was probably comforting him. i didn't want to see them, i didn't want to see them break because of me.
no one wants to see their friends cry.
suddenly someone stood up and i looked up to see hoseok run out of the house, slamming the front door behind him.
"i'll go." taehyung said and went after hoseok.
i wiped my tears away with the sleeve of my shirt. "guys im sorry." i whispered and yoongi hugged me.
"don't be sorry kook... you didn't want this." yoongi whispered and i nodded, crying into his shoulder as we hugged.
"you're strong kook, you can fight it." i heard namjoon say and i sniffed, pulling away from yoongi to look at him. "thanks hyung. im-im trying my best." i mumbled and namjoon nodded, going back to comforting seokjin who was still crying.
i wanted to tell him that i'll be okay but then id just be giving him false hope. if i do end up dying because of this i don't want him hating me.
yoongi's phone started ringing and he left the room to answer it.
my eyebrows furrowed and i stood up to follow him. he went to the living room and sat on the couch while i stayed at the doorway so he wouldn't see me.
"hey tae do you know where hoseok is?" yoongi asked and taehyung hummed. "yeah he just went home... you know how he feels about jungkook, he's just afraid of losing him."
my eyes widened as i heard what tae said.
how hoseok feels about me? what does that even mean?
"i know... he loves him, i can't blame him." yoongi said and i gasped making yoongi turned around. "shit. uh i'll call you back tae. love you." yoongi ended the call and stood up.
"kook im sorry." he said and i shook my head. "its okay... c-can you give me a ride to his house please?" i asked and yoongi nodded.
so hoseok loves me...
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-taestan kOOKIE POSTED A MOTHER QUACKIN SELFIE ON TWITTER OMGGGGGG NOW ALL IM WAITING FOR IS TAE
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