Trust Must be Earned

Chapter 12

A/N: Sorry this took so long. It's a really long chapter to write and I had a hard time finding my writing mojo. I liked this chapter a lot and I hop you do too. I love you all little monsters. Enjoy!

Two weeks. Two weeks of misery and silence. I think that in the last fourteen days I've said maybe a total of twenty words. Andre would barely leave my side. When I showered he'd sit in the bathroom. I needed space so I would push him away. I felt bad but he was getting clingy. I went to school and everyday I wore a long sleeve sweatshirt. At gymnastics I would wear sweat bands that covered most of my wrists. I know people noticed but no one asked any questions, which I was greatful for. I was heading out of the gymnastics gym. I have never been so greatful for a Friday night. I looked at my phone and I had a text from Andre. He wanted me to call him when I was done at practice. I sighed if I didn't call he'd flip out so I just did it.

"Hey Tatianna, I'm in the main gym. I'll walk over to you then we can leave." He said. I hung up. I didn't wanna talk. Within two minutes Dre was next to me asking me how my day was and how I was feeling. I responded with various gestures but never words.

"So what do you wanna do tonight." He asked desperate for me to say something.

"I wanna go home." I mumbled.

"Ok we can do that." I could hear how happy he was.

"No Andre. I wanna go home and be alone for a while. You've been so clingy the past couple weeks I can barely breath! I just want some fucking space. I love you and I am so thankful that you take care of me, but I'm feeling suffocated. You won't even let me shower alone for gods sake!" I raised my voice. Andre smiled brighter that before. He grabbed me and pulled me into his chest roughly.

"Oh my god. It's so fucking good to hear your voice. The scilence has been unbearable!" He sighed.

"Yeah I've been feeling better." I replied honestly.

"Thank god. I missed you."

"Missed me? You never left my side!" I said exasperatedly.

"I know angel, but seeing you do that to yourself was something I had never imagined in my worst nightmares. That was terrifying. There was just so much blood. I can't get that night out of my mind and I knew that I shouldn't have let you go, and I did. This whole thing was my fault." Andre looked like he was about to cry. I took his hand in mine.

"It's not your fault. I begged to leave. I chose to get my old blades out. I chose to self harm. You did not drag the blades across my wrists! I did! Dre, this is not your fault! Please let that thought go!" I assured. "Let's go back to my house and we can talk about it while I clean up 'cause the house is grody!"

****

Andre was out getting me hot wings because I really wanted some good food. Then when he came back we were gonna talk about it. I was running around the house like a crazy woman picking up dirty clothes and putting dishes in the dish washer. God damn I got messy when I got depressed. Andre walked throught the door.

"Hey baby." I gave him a small smile.

"Hi angel." He gave me a quick kiss. "You cleaned up."

"Yeah. Why didn't you tell me it got so messy!? You should've forced me to clean up!"

"Tatianna, You wouldn't move and you wouldn't speak. How did you expect me to get you to clean?" He chucked.

"Good point."

"So...." Andre began.

"I know you have questions so just ask." I said taking the food and sitting on the couch. He came and sat next to me.