The Story Of My Not So Perfect Life!

I'm Back Bitches!

FINALLY, AFTER ALMOST A WHOLE MONTH, I GOT THE INTERNET BACK!!!!! 😄😄😄😄😄

SO NOW I CAN FINISH WATCHING DEADPOOL!!!!!!!! WHOO HOO!!!!!!! 😄😄😄😄😄😄😄😄😄

On a more serious note, a week after I came out my mum sent a text (seriously a fucking TEXT!!!🤬🤬 WHO WOULD EVEN SEND A TEXT ABOUT SOMETHING SERIOUS, I MEANT THAT'S PRETTY FUCKING RUDE!!!!) saying that she was sorry. I'm still mad at her. I mean, it's nice and all, but she didn't even say it to me in person! If she meant what she said then she should have told me in person.

And she has full on BANNED me from watching "gay anime" (I've only watched were Yuri!! On Ice and No.6) because she says that's all I ever talk about, but that is not true. I talked about Harry Potter for 3 WHOLE HOURS before getting told to shut up. And I've talked about how the Percy Jackson movies are so TERRIBLE! Anyway, you get the idea. And she has banned me from Wattpad. But I obviously got it back.

And I'm also not allowed to mention anything about 'The Incident' (that's what we're calling it) or anything LGBT because my sister is too young to know anything about that stuff (even though she's eleven fucking years old!)

And last week my older brother gave me a 2 hour lecture, similar to the one my parents gave me. It was probably more like an hour but he kept coming back in my room to say stuff. I wasn't even listening because that's like the third time I've got that lecture.

Also, I'd like to give a shoutout to ImprobableDreamer618 for their kind comment. It made me feel better. So thank you. 😊

I'd like to mention that after I came out and got into a lot of trouble and lectures and other stuff, I was so upset and felt so alone and depressed about what just happened. The worse part is that I couldn't talk to any of my friends about it because I only have them on Messager and you need Internet to use it and I didn't have that. So, I did the one thing I swore never to do again. And that was cutting myself. After I did it, I regretted it so fucking much and I was really afraid that I would get into more trouble from my mum because of it. I actually started crying at the thought of it. I managed to hide it and the scars have faded away so that you could only see it if you knew it was there in the first place.

I was at it for almost an hour. Just crying and cutting and generally hating myself more than usual. I felt that I had no purpose in the world and for being a complete waste of space and that I was better off dead. And I was having suicidal thoughts. The only good thing was that I was home alone for a few hours or I'd have been caught.

Even after I finished cutting, the pain from my cuts were stinging and still bleeding, it made me forget, even for only a few seconds, what had happened. That was almost four weeks ago and I still regret doing it. I still don't feel that they accept me, but at least they've stopped lecturing me about it.

And if any of you guys are going through something similar to what happened to me, feel free to message me if you want some support or advice or anything like that. Because I definitely would hate if something like that happens to someone.

Remember, no matter how much of a bitch life has been, don't ever cut yourself. Because once you start, it's hard to stop. Because the pain makes you forget how shitty reality is. But don't do it. Talk to talk to someone about it.
I'm not telling you that you have to talk to someone, I'm just giving advice because I don't want anyone feeling like that. Remember you are not alone.