Poem 9

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The clock is ticking

Days are passing by and I'm still in the same place

While everyone is moving forward,

My feet are still stuck in this mud called memories

Desiring to change life, make it beautiful

Loving so hard when I know I don't receive the same amount 

And everyday my heart is reminded that you  exist

That we had a past

Though future doesn't seem to be found for us

Even if I crave for one, 

You're already miles away

Not by roads but by  the separate galaxies  in our souls

The clock is still ticking 

Now my life is passing by

Looking at my mirror and seeing the same person everyday

Selfsame face, clothes, hair ...

Wondering what it will feel like to be different

To see myself in another manner

But how? 

If I'm unable to change  who I want to be

How? If my friends don't rely on me

They don't believe  what I say

I can't modify their thoughts about themselves

If they had my perspective, they can see how amazing they are

and everything they have and what they can give to this world 

But who am I to say this when I don't even like myself?

That person in the mirror is not who I want to see

If  only I change, I could confront my friends without hesitating 

But I'm worthless, miserable, pathetic ...

I don't want to look at myself anymore

That's why I wonder why I keep struggling to be someone that people can flatter and see good qualities

Why I keep insisting to be this person that my head creates

Why I try so hard each day with exercise, eating, living my life,  being positive with those around me

I guess  I can only say that attempts is all what I have

And I must live with that hoping that everything will be alright 

That maybe tomorrow I'll be someone new

So clock keep ticking 

I will let my life pass by with all I have left









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